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Original poster

Friendship troubles old

14 replies

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/02/2026 10:46

I had a best friend since 5 years old and in our twenties we ended our friendship due to a big falling out. She’s been in touch since I think trying to restart the friendship but she hasn’t apologised or even explained the falling out.

I’m now wondering if I’ve been too harsh and should I give her a second chance?

OP posts:
PaperMachePanda · 09/02/2026 11:31

No, not if she's not apologised or said why she even fell out with you.

Move on.

FavouriteBlueMug · 09/02/2026 11:38

Depends what the falling out was about.

Something serious I’d be cautious.

If you miss her and would like to restart the friendship, I’d go slow and make sure your boundaries are firm.

Friendships often fall away for good reason.

Original poster
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/02/2026 11:43

The falling out was about her accusing me of collecting benefits on her behalf (fraud), she actually accused me and our other best friend. The other best friend is now speaking to her but due to distance they don’t see each other now.

I just find it strange that my friend can’t apologise or even talk about what happened. Yes we were both younger then and she had 2 young DC which I didn’t have but she did things like rang me at work to talk about this disagreement when she knew I couldn’t take the call. Even when we met up to discuss it she was very cold. I rang her up upset about 6 months after our friendship ended and said I missed her. She said unless you come crawling back on your hands and knees to apologise I’m not interested. (I’d always done this in the past). I just put the phone down on her, said nothing and moved on with my life.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/02/2026 11:45

PaperMachePanda · 09/02/2026 11:31

No, not if she's not apologised or said why she even fell out with you.

Move on.

Yeah she knows why she fell out with me. I think she regrets how she behaved in the past.

She turned up on my doorstep with no prior warning with her son having travelled a long way and I told her to F off. Turned up like nothing had happened.

OP posts:
FavouriteBlueMug · 09/02/2026 12:05

She falsely accused you of fraud and theft?

Yes, there’s no moving on from that. I wouldn’t ever speak to her again.

Original poster
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/02/2026 12:33

FavouriteBlueMug · 09/02/2026 12:05

She falsely accused you of fraud and theft?

Yes, there’s no moving on from that. I wouldn’t ever speak to her again.

Edited

Yes exactly! I never knew whether it actually happened or if she was just making things up (she liked drama and had a boyfriend she wanted to keep and impress at the time).

I was actually concerned for my other friend in case the best friend reported her or us to the social services/police. But nothing ever happened. I have no idea if the other friend committed fraud, it could be likely, but she was a new mum so highly doubtful if she had the time and energy for it.

I do feel for my old best friend as she didn’t have the easiest time growing up and then as a single young mum. She’s turned her life around now though, got married, a degree, has her own business and seems happy. I’ve often wondered if I brought up what happened in the past would she apologise or explain? Because that is the only way I’d consider a friendship again. It is a pity as we were best friends for so long though.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 09/02/2026 12:53

No way should you ever have anything to do with someone who accused you of criminal fraud. This person deliberately turned on you and tried to cause you Grade IV Trouble. The remark about her wanting you to crawl on your hands and knees, that's disturbing and toxic. I would stay far, far away because she is no friend.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

SandAndSea · 09/02/2026 12:59

I think you could have a chance of closure, regardless of whether you continue the relationship or not. You could ask her what happened?

SandAndSea · 09/02/2026 13:03

Just to add, I wouldn't want to know her or to rekindle anything.

purplecorkheart · 09/02/2026 13:04

I would be very wary if returning to this friendship given the circumstances. She could turn around and accuse you again.

Original poster
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/02/2026 20:10

SandAndSea · 09/02/2026 12:59

I think you could have a chance of closure, regardless of whether you continue the relationship or not. You could ask her what happened?

Yeah I could ask her. I did mention something about maturity along those lines and she said something like she had or hadn’t matured.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/02/2026 20:11

outerspacepotato · 09/02/2026 12:53

No way should you ever have anything to do with someone who accused you of criminal fraud. This person deliberately turned on you and tried to cause you Grade IV Trouble. The remark about her wanting you to crawl on your hands and knees, that's disturbing and toxic. I would stay far, far away because she is no friend.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

It’s such a shame as we were best friends from age 5. Until I was about 24. Her life was totally different to mine but that was her choices not mine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/02/2026 20:13

purplecorkheart · 09/02/2026 13:04

I would be very wary if returning to this friendship given the circumstances. She could turn around and accuse you again.

I don’t think she’d dare accuse me again. I think she did want me to crawl back on my hands and knees towards her begging for forgiveness and when I didn’t I think it honestly shocked her. It was always a bit power play with her, her putting me down sometimes over shoes.

OP posts:
OneNewEagle · 13/02/2026 21:55

What did she say she wanted when she turned up?

and no I’d not be friends with her after that.

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