Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being sensitive? Should DH have done more?

15 replies

TheOP2 · 08/02/2026 17:43

On Monday my mothers dog was put to sleep (my dogs sister) on Wednesday my car got stolen outside of my accommodation when I was away for work. I had to get two Ubers and three trains to get home as it's almost 100miles away. I have had to pay for a locksmith, pay to end my insurance, buy a new car and pay off the finance of the stolen car as the insurance won't pay out. I also had to miss a day's work and I have only been working there for two weeks so I felt terrible. On top of that I have been buying everything that was in the car when it was stolen (nothing expensive just silly things like shopping bags, a new booster seat for my dog, an umbrella etc) basically it's been one of the worst weeks of my life! He hasn't don't one nice thing for me.... Cooked me a meal, come home with a little treat, helped around the house or bought something for my new car (I don't mind forking out for things but a gesture would have been nice and I feel very disappointed.

OP posts:
Colourscolours · 08/02/2026 17:56

That sounds like an horrendous week OP.
I'm so sorry about your Mum's dog. And the rest of what happened was pretty rubbish too.

Did your DH offer you no emotional support at all? It's very poor that he hasn't tried to do something nice for you.

TheOP2 · 08/02/2026 18:01

Colourscolours · 08/02/2026 17:56

That sounds like an horrendous week OP.
I'm so sorry about your Mum's dog. And the rest of what happened was pretty rubbish too.

Did your DH offer you no emotional support at all? It's very poor that he hasn't tried to do something nice for you.

When I got home I was in a state ... He did comfort me for a while then said I had to move on from it

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 08/02/2026 18:21

TheOP2 · 08/02/2026 18:01

When I got home I was in a state ... He did comfort me for a while then said I had to move on from it

Whilst it does sound like a crap time he comforted you when you got home when you needed it and he is right you have to move on from it, there’s no point sat moping around about it, that won’t help

cinnamongirl123 · 08/02/2026 18:33

He doesn’t sound very nice. How long have you been together?

TheCurious0range · 08/02/2026 18:44

Why wouldn't your insurance pay out when your car was stolen?!

Colourscolours · 08/02/2026 18:47

TheOP2 · 08/02/2026 18:01

When I got home I was in a state ... He did comfort me for a while then said I had to move on from it

Telling someone one they have to " move on from it" - in other words " get over it" - is a really ridiculous thing to say. What it basically means is he feels he has done his bit and can't be bothered with your feelings any more because they are interfering with his enjoyment of life.

You can only move on from something in your own time . When you are ready to do so. Not at the behest of someone else for their convenience.

exhaustDAD · 08/02/2026 20:03

What a shoddy week, @TheOP2 , so sorry about all of it. Well, emotional intelligence doesn't seem to be his strong suit, it seems. Yikes. I think in such dire circumstances a decent, or even semi-ok DH would try to pick up other things so you can focus on sorting the out-of-the-ordinary things that fell on you. Bad form. I would mention it to him that in a reversed situation you would've made sure to have dinner sorted at least, or something so make the shitty situation a bit more bearable.. To see if he gets how sub-par of a partner he was.

Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep · 08/02/2026 20:13

Has he shown you any sympathy?
Do you not share finances?
Do you normally do all the cooking and the house work?

TheOP2 · 08/02/2026 20:16

Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep · 08/02/2026 20:13

Has he shown you any sympathy?
Do you not share finances?
Do you normally do all the cooking and the house work?

We share some finances ie food, holidays, bills, meals out. I do all the cooking and pretty much all the housework... I've asked him to do more but he doesn't

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 08/02/2026 20:20

His telling you to move on was him being tired of dealing with it.

You're the wife appliance, you're there to serve him, not vice versa. That's his mindset.

It sounds like you had an awful week and I hope you have a friend or two that's more of a support than your dick husband.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 08/02/2026 20:20

TheOP2 · 08/02/2026 20:16

We share some finances ie food, holidays, bills, meals out. I do all the cooking and pretty much all the housework... I've asked him to do more but he doesn't

How long were you away? He coped then!

Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep · 08/02/2026 20:20

TheOP2 · 08/02/2026 20:16

We share some finances ie food, holidays, bills, meals out. I do all the cooking and pretty much all the housework... I've asked him to do more but he doesn't

He sounds a pretty shit ‘D’ H overall.

Burningbud1981 · 08/02/2026 20:23

TheCurious0range · 08/02/2026 18:44

Why wouldn't your insurance pay out when your car was stolen?!

I’m guessing insurance paid the market value of the car but not the amount of finance due

DeepRubySwan · 10/02/2026 06:22

Men are only nice when they have to be and are terrible at reading subtext. You have to tell him you found it upsetting that he didn't do anything nice for you or he won't know. They are awful at empathy.

exhaustDAD · 10/02/2026 06:43

DeepRubySwan · 10/02/2026 06:22

Men are only nice when they have to be and are terrible at reading subtext. You have to tell him you found it upsetting that he didn't do anything nice for you or he won't know. They are awful at empathy.

Don't forget that all we ever want is sex, we all cheat without exception, and absolutely can't form friendships with women either. All we care about is watching sports and drink beer with the lads, and our heart belongs to fast cars, exclusively. I jest, of course.
OP's DH was a shitty partner.. (based on her later comments not a one-off either, with an unwillingness to do things around the house like an adult), but can we not make this a general rule applicable to everyone? It helps no one.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread