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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I fucking hate getting divorced

5 replies

ZenZazie · 08/02/2026 03:10

Been separated for just over a year, getting to the nitty gritty now.

And it’s pretty amicable-ish. We’ll both be ok and get decent lives after. The practical external stuff will all be ok.

But he’s hurt me so much over the years, with his controlling coldness and withdrawing workaholism, his stonewalling stubborn selfishness.

And it’s bringing up my parent’s divorce, which was not amicable and dragged out over literally decades. And those memories are fucking terrifying.

And he knows that and he does like to twist the knife a little about it. Tries to use it to scare me, so he can feel the last grasp of his control over me.

He thought I would back down, that he could push me around.

Called his bluff on that front though and he just folded like a fucking concertina.

I wish he would just fuck off and disappear from my life forever. Like right now.

And yes. I am in therapy and it helps. But just in the middle of night, Saturday into Sunday I just need to say I fucking hate getting divorced.

TBF, not as much as I fucking hated being married to that cunt.

OP posts:
FlamingoFloss · 08/02/2026 03:17

I so hope this is over for you soon - he sounds like an absolute twat. Rant away and get it off your chest

Endofyear · 08/02/2026 08:31

Well done for standing up to him OP, you're doing great! And this is the hardest bit but it will be over soon - keep your eyes on the prize, you'll be free of him forever. There is light at the end of the tunnel, your new peaceful life. It's good to have a rant here and get it off your chest so you can maintain a cool unruffled exterior in front of him!

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/02/2026 08:52

Yeah, I agree divorce is shit, but still defo preferable to staying married to a dick. Stay focused on getting it done - your next chapter awaits op, and it will be great. I’m a few years ahead of you, and life is soooo much better. Stay strong.

ZenZazie · 08/02/2026 10:55

Thank you, I feel a lot better this morning. I needed to let that out

OP posts:
LivingwithHopenowandforever · 08/02/2026 13:23

@ZenZazie Know this he is trying his utmost hardest to fuck with your head as he has lost you and any control he might have had.

So next time he tries to twist the knife in remember this & smile.😃

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