Low libido is getting to me

[Sunflower1650]

I am in my mid thirties. Been with DH for 16 years. We have a 6 and 3 year old. Both autistic. Life is hard and I’m constantly feeling stressed because the kids require so much support which is mostly from me because I work part time whereas DH works 10 hour days. The 3 year old sleeps in our room and wakes numerous times per night and will only be resettled by me not DH. I’m tired.
I used to enjoy sex but now I just have no desire for it. I feel touched out and exhausted by the end of the day. DH never pressures me or makes me feel guilty but I can tell we’re both feeling disconnected from one another. Does anyone have any advice on how to increase my libido? I know it’s probably low because of our lifestyle and the stress, but that’s not going to go away any time soon. Sex actually used to help relieve stress for me but I just can’t be bothered to have it or initiate it. I have just started taking ashwaghanda as I read that or maca could help. So far no difference.

Hi @Sunflower1650 , so sorry for the difficult situation, really sucks. But well done, it is admirable that you are doing the best you can with your two kids.. I think if you think about this situation a bit, you'll see that your problem is not really the libido issue... Read your own thread over. It is all in there. You are touched out, you are overwhelmed and tired. So your mind and body does not get into the zone where a healthy sexual desire could flourish... If you take supplements, or try to increase your libido, it feels like it's trying to do a job with the wrong tools... Your task is "hitting the nail in the wall" and you are trying to solve it by getting a screwdriver. Do you see what I mean? Let's put it this way:
"Sunflower1650 has low libido. She is overwhelmed, overstimulated, stressed, outtouched, and tired". That is our reality. What you need help with are the bits that are bleeding all your energy out. Sounds like you should be able to talk about this with your DH - you say he is not making you feel bad or pressure you, that is great, that would be the least thing that you need. Talk to him about it, I am sure he misses more connection with you, too... you guys can put your heads together, and work out how to help the situation.. Whatever it means in your life. Once you are in a better place, the intimacy will be able to flourish more.. The baseline is, once a couple has kids, it's always a shift in intimacy, there will be extra effort needed to make that part work.. In your case, you have an extra difficult situation.. So work on it as a team, and the connection should be stronger, and intimacy to return..