UPDATE: From my last post, I took advice from the community and need help again.

[weddinglovepure]

So,
From my last post wherein my boyfriend kept on delaying talking to his orthodox parents about our marriage, I got a lot of clarity from our community about where I was going blind.

Although I still lack bit of spine to walk away but I confronted and communicated my feelings to him.
"That I couldn't wait anymore".
But he said, give me 3-4 months I'll try one last time.
How do I tackle this? Somewhere I want to give him a chance.
But when I see his actions (lack of efforts & gap in our communication) I don't want to hurt myself further.
Because even after 3-4 months there's no guarantee that it would work out.

I've been in relationships where men were emotionally unavailable and I am clueless how to be strong or believe that future is better than now.

Nothing is going to change. Walk away.

Possible future faking? Walk away op he will delay "until after his mum's birthday/the grandparents have left/he has a promotion/" insert any excuse, if he wanted to change/introduce you to the family he would have done so already.

Ask him how does he think you’ll feel about him in 3 months time if he’s still not told them? Why does it take 3-4 months? Why can’t he tell them today? If he is going to tell them, why does he need to wait. (I might accept “it’ll cause drama, and my sibling has x happening in April and I don’t want to make the run up to x all about me.” Or something similar like that.)

if he has no reason for the delay, then he’s just stalling because he doesn’t want to tell them and hopes you’ll get over it.

Youll be leaving him in 3-4 months time, might as well do it today.

It will be him asking for "another 3 months" for as long as you tolerate it.

This! It will always be "another 3 months"

just leave

OP, the ‘advice from this community’ last time was to dump him, not to hang about wasting any more time while he strung you along. Follow it.

At the moment marriage to him seems like a prize to be won that is almost within your grasp. If you marry him, you will be saddled with a conflicted husband and resentful inlaws. Once the first flush of love wears off, it won't seem like a prize any more.

A friend of mine refused to marry her bf in a similar situation because she knew she would have to conform to all the expectations of the family. As a girlfriend she was free to behave how she liked. As a wife she would be expected to convert to the religion, have babies, give up her job to be a SAHM, dress in a certain way and behave in a certain way.

You accept that you deserve better and walk away.

He’s just not that into you.
if he wanted it, it would have happened.
walk away, you deserve someone who really wants you.

Also, who wants a life where you’re the outsider, the in-laws don’t want you either. You’ll be posting different variations of this for the next 30 years.

First response nails it.

I'm sorry OP, but if you think by somehow getting him to marry you that everything will become rosy, then you are totally mistaken.

I don't suppose any of our opinions or suggestions changed, OP. Please try to be objective, and understand that sticking with this guy, and maybe marrying him will only invite perpetual headache and overstepped boundaries from his family. Not one person needs that. Realistically what will change in 3 months, @weddinglovepure ? Him mustering the courage like a little boy? He will not grow resolve, a new personality or draw healthy boundaries for his family, his belief system will not change. If you go through, you will only have yourself to blame when you find yourself in a dysfunctional setup where your in-laws dictate everything, and your husband is not man enough to prioritise you or have individual thoughts of his own separate of the culture he grew up in.

Ask yourself this at least - is it healthy, that he needs time to maybe get the almighty in-laws to even accept your existence? You are ok being on this level?

You have now told him you can’t wait any more, so I would give him that time he has said (maybe make a fixed time like 3 months, a certain date, not a wishy washy 3-4 months) and then walk away straight away if he hasn’t done it by then.

Exactly.
That's why he didn't "try" hard enough before now.

You deserve better @weddinglovepure

His inertia when it comes to his parents hurts him as well as you. Such men rarely if ever change and you will always play second fiddle to his parents.

You need to walk away now otherwise he could well say another 3/4 months. I have no doubt you will be in exactly the same position re him in 3 or 4 months time otherwise.

I would consider therapy for yourself as to why you are attracted to such emotionally unavailable men. This may go back to your own childhood. Do not continue to be a fallback girl.

But when I see his actions (lack of efforts & gap in our communication) I don't want to hurt myself further.

It comes down to this.

Everything else, the delays, the not talking to his parents, it all comes down to this.

3 months. Then 2 months. Then 1 month. Ad infinitum and the day will never come.

He's completely enmeshed with his parents and will always put their feelings ahead of yours. He will make a very poor husband and father and his parents will rule his home.

Time to call it a day.

Just some family dispute going on, as he said. But I understand, it's going to hurt me in the end. Not that, it doesn't hurt right now. It does.

Certainly, the love will wear off and then the situation in hand might be excruciating. I wish I wasn't so weak.

Jam tomorrow...

This. I note it by heart. Thank you.

Why is he magically going to change how he feels in 3 months? Tbh, he knows he isn’t going to ever say anything and is probably enjoying stringing you along- this isn’t how people treat those they care about.

Just be aware you are setting the tone now for married life if you keep accepting excuses and delays.

If you really want to stay i would say "fine i will give you until 30th April but if you haven't told them properly by then, I'm out" and mean it. If you don't leave then, you are wasting your own time. I would also check in with him every month to ask if he's planned it yet, to keep him focused on the deadline.