Is anyone else with a man who doesn’t attach emotional meaning to sex

[Emmie243]

After 5 years together and one DC, I’ve just come to massive realisation that DP experiences sex primarily as a physical act rather than an emotional one. We had an argument the other day and I said something along the lines of “Well, you seemed fine to sleep with me last night” and his response was along lines of “ It’s just sex, means nothing” Just sex. We have the most passionate sex, he holds me after. I just don’t know how I feel about him saying this. Now it feels impersonal , like I could’ve been anyone.

Really?! I’ve always found the opposite! I can always disassociate for early days or a one night thing. Not in a marriage though, I don’t think it’s a gender/sex thing, just someone who isn’t that into you, which is sad if you’re married.

I think the issue with this is that for a lot of men sex is the only time they show their partners a semblance of affection. It's quite sad then that they see it a just a physical act and what appears to be affection is just a means to an end.

It also contradict the other view held by many men that sex is only way they feel intimacy and connection.

"well you were fine to sleep with me last night" sounds like a defensive response back to something (nasty? insensitive?) he's said to you. Can you elaborate on the argument you were having when this came up?

you can be sexually attracted and have a good time, but dont find the person compatible
a gf treatment without commitment
at least he is honest

I think that most people, male or female, can enjoy sex as a purely physically pleasurable act without real emotion attached, although oxytocin etc do often create transient feelings of attachment after sex. But people generally don't have to have an emotional connection to the person in order to enjoy physical stimulation.

But for sex to be entirely emotionless and purely physical and detached from emotional intimacy within the confines of a relationship where you do already have a strong emotional connection, sounds very cold and unpleasant.
I'm not sure I'd want to be in a relationship with someone who viewed sex as being totally devoid of intimacy and connection - it sounds more like using each others' bodies to masturbate, when framed that way.