DH said I had no passion

[desperatehousewife]

Last night we were chatting and he asked me when was the last time I had any real passion - I had to ask him what he meant - he went on to say, when was I so revved up about something that I couldn't wait to get out of bed and get started on it.

I couldn't answer him - I can't remember. I felt so sad - because for me whats the point if there's no passion in your life.

I said that since having son 2.5yrs ago, i guess there's not much time for me or finding out what my passion is.

Just wanted to know from other mums, do you have a passion - have you always had it or did you have to seek it out?

I really need to get back out to work and have external influences in my life again - but really want to do a worthwhile job and haven't figured out what it is yet...desperate to find out what my passion is.

Dh,

Do you make home made pot pourri by any chance?

If so I think you may find the answer from your doppleganger tomorrow night at 10 on 4. But I don't think its going to be pretty.

sorry if you've already answered this DH, but what is your dh passionate about? Is he projecting his own lack of passion onto you>?

No I don't - how dare you!

PF
didn't mean to make you backtrack about your passion

did you used to be known as someone else btw?

Do you look longingly at loose buttons on your marriage counsellors jacket then?

I told my DP I was passionate about MN. When he was watching cricket. I read him out some of a very interesting thread about how different couples cope with arguments. He just didn't get it. 'He said why are you interested in how other people react to things? I'm only interested in our relationship and how we deal with stuff'

He can't understand how I can be in the same room when the cricket is on all day (open plan flat - can't avoid it) and yet still not know the score.

I just tune it out, just like I tune out that whining baby noise.

spacedonkey - he works full time and quite likes his job. I woulnd't describe him as having many passions though. He loves F1, sailing, skiing (god he sounds so totally unsuited to me - i detest all those things!) I don't think he was criticising me - just feels worried about me feeling empty at the moment and I guess sees me very differently now I'm a mum and sees me struggling with it...

tbh I agree with everyone else who has said this is normal when you have babies and young children - your passions tend to become subjugated, and I think this is a normal part of being a parent. My children are older now and they have gone to live with their dad and I now find my enthusiasms returning. So it's not forever, and if you can carve out some time for yourself to do the things you love doing while the children are young, so much the better!

Thanks everyone for making me feel better
x

can I just use this space to congratulate spacedonkey on the masteful use of what has turned out to be the key word : subjagated.
Brilliant

i thank you

and she spelled it correctly too, even with hooves

Heck I am normally the one to say to DH I have no passion, no hobby... He likes photography, and many other things, I am a SAHM, my little one has started school this year and I am slowly trying to rediscover myself lol...

I do have "passions" things I like to do, but when we had DS I gave up career caus I wanted to look after him, that meant being skint, so all my "passions" were put on the back burner...

We went throught a v. difficult time financially, so I forgot about all the things I ever wanted in life. It wasn't all that bad really, I love being with my son at home, but now the financial situation is getting better, (hubby got great job now) and I am left wondering what is it I'd like to do then?!? I find it very hard to spend money on myself. The situation is getting better re we are no longuer getting into debt, but we are repaying a lot off, it'll take a year to be in the clear completely. I find it impossible to treat myself whilst I always push hubby to treat himself... and sometimes I look back and think haaaang on a minute... So I am aiming this year to find some sort of drive (and start that by learning to drive :P!!)

then I'll look forward to skiing holidays, and hopefully pamper myself :P But up to now am all with mum2girls, my passion was going back to bed :D

I had to look up what that meant. Good word.

Message withdrawn

yes, I absolutely LOVE reading - couldn't live without it (don't get time for it though) so I guess it's just a matter of how you define 'passion' isn't it. I don't think anything would make me leap out of bed to be honest - I'm just not that sort of person. Although thinking about it, going on holiday would make me leap out of bed at 3am if needs be. Maybe that's my passion....shame can't afford to feed it though!

DH, I know just how you feel. My DS is 2 1/2 and I've been trying to rekindle some of my old interests. One problem I find is that I can get something started, like a regular night out with the girls, then DH will have to work late and I have to cancel, then DS is ill or I get sick and cancel again and then things fizzle out. So hard to start something and even harder to keep it going!

I think the important thing is that you're even starting to think about yourself again. In my experience, that's a big step in itself. I wouldn't worry too much about finding a passion and maybe just concentrate more on introducing more treats and pleasures into your life. It doesn't have to be expensive. One of my greatest pleasures at the moment is Saturday mornings when DH takes DS out for breakfast and Tumble Tots. I take a loooong shower and have a quiet cup of tea. It's so nice just to be in the house alone and have some peace and quiet.

I agree with the others that this is just a phase and things will change as the children get older. I do like the idea of a morning paper to keep the brain cells functioning. This will sound incredibly stupid but how would I arrange to have a paper delivered?? Never done it before but would like to start.

pop to your local newsagent and see if they do a delivery...uou may have to try a couple.see if a neighbour gets theirs delivered and ask who they get it from.

betwwen reading the paper and mn,your life can whizz past passion or no passion!

Thanks, I'll pop down there today and see if they deliver.