How on earth do I get DH to listen

[DancingQueen2018]

I’m at my wits end. DD2 is 10 in year 5, gorgeous, funny, bright and very very dyslexic. Her reading is ok but writing and spelling more like year 1.

unfortunately we live in a selective area. She wants to do the test - her sister already attends and I’m sure most of her friends (the school averages about 70%) will go to the grammar. I’m fine with her doing it but have made very clear there’s no pressure on her at all and there are other good options. she’s having tutoring of an hour a week (plus about 30 minutes of homework ) but DH is insistant that she does an hour of homework every night. He obsessed with her getting there and sees no alternative.

this feels like hothousing and I feel like she’d get there and just be miserable - she’d struggle along at the bottom never feeling good enough and she’d just be crushed. But he absolutely won’t be swayed And says I’ve given up on her.

our relationship is very rocky anyway and I just feel like this is the final straw, how can he do this to her?

But if you’re both supporting her doing it, you can’t place all the blame on him if you’re not being honest about her being successful?

Will there not he any exam considerations due to the dyslexia?

I’m sorry, I have nothing useful to say to you that might help you overcome the situation you describe.

i just hope that PP’s who have experience of a similar situation can offer their best advice.

All I can say is for you to keep believing in yourself, and to stay strong.
Enlist the help and support from as many appropriate sources as possible.

You say that your relationship with your H is rocky… maybe this is a way for him to wind you up, to try to assert authority over you.

I guess you have a lot on your plate anyway, but is staying with your H healthy for any of you?

Take care, I hope you find peace and a way forward.

I feel sorry for DD. That's a lot of pressure from DH.

What do you think might happen if she doesn’t get into the school of choice? How is he likely to deal with that? Just wanting that to happen doesn’t mean it will and what is his back up plan because I really hope it’s not him washing his hands of her.
Your fears are quite justified. I remember a conversation at my Grammar school where those who were doing well but towards the bottom of the class wished they had been at a non-selective school and been the big fish rather than perceiving they were strugglers all the time and somehow lacking.