Benefits of never living together

[CrouchEndTiger1]

Say you dont have children and arent going to have any., are there benefits of not living together?

We’ve been married 40+ years and live together. It’s fine for us. But we know two couples who live apart, one couple for longer than we’ve been married. It’s by no means unheard of and it really works for both of them.

I WISH WE HAD KEPT OUR SEPARATE HOUSES
Then you don’t have to share domestic drudgery just fun

I got divorced four years ago after 25 years of marriage, and I’ve been single since. I’m not thinking about getting into a relationship right now, but if I ever do, I know I wouldn’t want to live with someone again. I really value my independence, and I don’t want to compromise that.

I also have three grown children, and it’s important to me that they always feel my home is their home. I’m not sure they would feel the same way if I were living with someone other than their father.

I was with my last bf for 4 years. We lived separately. He told his mum that I was too much like her !

Never thinking bad thoughts about them as you clear up their crumbs from the counter YET AGAIN

He's been honest that this is not something that would work for him. He hasn't future faked you.

If this isn't something that works for you, end the relationship. Better than forcing him into something and then resenting him because he needs his own space too much and you get offended he doesn't want to spend as much time with you.

That’s a bit creepy

Exactly this. My ex and I had many conversations where I said that if he wanted certainty over the living together thing, I couldn’t give it so feel free to end it. He wouldn’t and just kept seeing he’d see how he felt about it later on but then badgering me about it every time we spent time together. It became almost compulsive, to the point I felt such enormous pressure and felt he was gaslighting me by saying it wasn’t working for him and he may have to leave me and then saying I wasn’t committed to him. It was driving me round the bend in the end. I do miss him as he’s lovely, but if your views aren’t aligned on something so fundamental, staying together will just cause resentment and frustration for one or both of you.

Complete control of your financial future. No issues of balancing dramatically different care needs and housing once you reach old age. The ability to keep from taking on his mental load.

We do have children… older teens. We haven’t lived together for years. It works well as long as you can afford that life style.

Nope I wouldn’t want to live with anyone again either and it’s only fair to tell the other person if the relationship becomes long term. I like my space. I can afford my lifestyle and don’t need a bigger space. I get to see this hypothetical other person only when I want to and on my terms. In fact I can’t really see an upside to living together. I also have grown up children and it makes it cleaner in terms of inheritance to have my own property.

This is my life for the last 2.5 years, my DP and I live in separate places and spend time together when we feel like it. We both have our own houses and time by ourselves. It's been absolutely the best relationship I've ever had and I'm loving it! Next week I'm traveling abroad to see a friend by myself, and the following month my DP and I are traveling together.

Having said that, we're both very independent people with our own friends and hobbies, and happy in our own skin. This wouldn't work for everyone.

Another one here who'd never live with a man again.

taking the mental load of my neurotic husabnd nearly killed me and I had a psychotic breakdwon and lost everything - nine years later I still havent recovered

This. I thank God that I never moved in with my ex. Whenever I left his massive, freezing house, having been subjected to the constant drone of football on TV, I was ecstatic to get back to my cosy, warm flat, where I could do exactly as I pleased, and watch what I wanted on TV. I'll never live with a man again. Living alone is liberating.

I had a short marriage which taught me I could never live with a man. Any man. Since then Ive ahad a couple of longer term relationships which fell at the hurdle of his wanting to mover in together or marry. It was a hill I was prepared to die on. You can be part of someones life without living cheek by jowl.

I think semi detached with connecting door would be perfect . Just lock the door when either wants quiet alone time

To me that's not someone not wanting you in their life (it is literally wanting you in their life but just not to cohabit). We're all different, but this is actually increasingly common, particularly in later in life relationships.

I don't particularly want to live with someone ever again, I am also introverted, like my own space and am not really up for the domestic demands of men, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't love or want to spend time with them.