Good morning. I hoping to gain an opinion from wider audience as im.constantly questioning a situation. A girl i class as my best friend has been in my life over 20 years. Our friendship has survived us both being away for periods, living a distance and now she is living 5 mins down the road I see her less than ever. I dont have a big family and consider her the nearest thing to a sister so her behaviour over last few years has really upset me.
It all changed when she had kids. Any empathy towards anyone else went out of the window. She seem to have a set routine each week that left very little time to see me. Im a mum of young kids too and 2 of them are literally weeks apart I thought it would bring us closer but I spent whole of my maternity leave trying to get time with her. She married a guy I've known for years and I hoped we would create lots of memories and kids grow up together but she has made it far from this. I dont hear from her for weeks unless I message 1st asking how she is. I maybe get odd meme sent. Most of the time when she replies its about herself. I have put so many days forward to all go out you can tell she doesnt want to. But she can see some girls she met at baby group every week. They were the 1st to know about last pregnancy. She manages to go and see her husbands friends that live miles away but can barely seem to be able to arrange a cup of tea with me. When I finally think she's really binning me off I'll see her and everything feels fine again! I've had her at mine and kids family gatherings over the years not once do I get asked to hers. When I've seen her in town or at a group with these other friends she's almost stand offish and never offers for me to join them. I've arranged several things over the last couple of years that we have been to and enjoyed yet she never seems to want to plan with me. When we meet she talks about all the other stuff she's done with the other friends. I suspect she's had postnatal depression with last 2 kids but wouldn't ever admit it to me after being dismissive to me when I struggled. I also suspect an eating disorder may be in the equation again as she looks very gaunt. I do belive she can give a different image to these new mum friends than she gives to me. The truth is I miss her and dont understand her actions. Just this week I've tried 2 different ways to suggest meeting. It gets read no answer. I dont know whether to try and confront her and risk a totally awkward situation or speak to her husband but that probabaly won't go down well. She's said some quite offensive things since being a mum to me and doesnt seem to realise how much she's changed. I can't get any time in evenings with her as she goes to bed at 8 every night. I just know I hate feeling like this with other friends there's just convo even if its tricky to meet. Do I just accept she's not interested anymore?