So me and my ex met each other last year. The first few months were of course great, we got to know each other, went on dates, told our families about each other. But even then I knew he had avoidant tendencies because he couldn´t really open up emotionally to me and only had surface level relationships with women.
And then one day all of a sudden he said he wanted to break up because we "had no future", I "deserved better", he had "too many doubts about himself". I was attached so I asked to stay friends. He kept texting and calling me like we were in a relationship without actually having the talk.
For a few months we talked without a label calling it "friendship". Two months later we met up and he told me he wanted a relationship again which I didn't accept because I knew that right after the break up he was entertaining other girls and that had made me lose my trust in him.
But since I was attached and hoped he´d change I still talked to him and the moment I slowly started to trust him again and was ready for another try he said he just wanted to be friends again. We did that for another few weeks until I said that I want to cut all contact or have something serious because friendship is not what I want.
Then we started dating again until I asked for reassurance after a fight and he broke up telling me the same excuses as the first time. Of course it didn´t last long this time either and 4 days later he told me he missed me a lot and doesn´t want it to end. But since I already detached during the last comeback, I told him that I wanted to keep the distance and not start again. Since then he keeps texting every few days trying to get close without taking responsibility for the past. I respond to his messages telling him that I want to keep our distance, to which he doesnt respond just to come back later again.
I don´t understand his behavior or if he even ever had feelings for me. Does he keeps coming back for his ego or because he has feelings for me?