Age gaps and dating in general

[Carmoola]

I am sure we have all heard the "Age is just a number" phrase before but in my experience that isn't the case.

I am a young 43 but cannot imagine being with someone who is that much older for a relationship.

What age do you personally think is too big an age gap for a 43 year old where it becomes an issue.

Is 10 year age gap too big?

Have been single for 9 years and can't see that changing anytime soon.

I gave up on the apps as it was mostly men who weren't single and plus i feel they are an artificial way of meeting someone.

I don’t think you can generalise completely as there are always exceptions.
I’m not too far in age from you and have dated someone 10 years older twice, 5 years older and briefly someone 10 years younger.
I found that the older guys are very set in their ways and clearly at a different life stage to me, both winding down to retirement.
The younger guy wanted a physical relationship without having much in the way of emotional maturity so we weren’t compatible. 5 years older was fine in life stage and having things in common and we were together for 3 years.
My last relationship was with someone the same age as me and we had much more in common.
Obviously a very small sample to make judgements from but I’ve found similar over the years when chatting in early dating so I avoid large age gaps now. 5 years either side of my own age is my limit.

I am around your age, DH is 15 yrs older than me. We have loads in common, like the same things and he’s a decent bloke. I’m currently incapacitated and he is doing everything to look after me, including helping me dress and washing my hair. This is very unusual for me, I’m normally fiercely independent but he’s stepped up with a smile, still making me laugh and being not at all frustrated that I’m basically immobile. Age really is just a number, for us at least.

At 43 I probably wouldn’t have looked to date anyone over 50 .

Ive only ever dated men within a few years either side - ranging from 3 years younger to 5 years older.

I’m 45 & the opposite- prefer older. Wouldn’t really date anyone under 40 & would date up to late 50s. Maybe because I’m very much done & dusted having kids & wouldn’t want to date anyone with kids aged younger than mid/late teens.

I've just calculated my past loves and it appears I never go more than 5 years in either direction. Although I have a new friend who I think is interested in me 'in that way' and he's exactly 10 years older than me - in that he and I share the same birthday! I'm not sure if I want anything romantic though.

My current boyfriend is 5 years younger than me and another was 7 years younger. The latter really wanted children though and that ship has sailed for me.

Current boyfriend seems more mature than some men I’ve known and I agree some men significantly older can be very set in their ways which is why I wouldn’t date them. Having said that I’ve got a friend who met and married her 10 year older man online after she was sadly widowed and they seem very happy.

I’m 44 and I can’t imagine dating anyone older than 50 or younger than 38

I think it massively depends on the ages of the couple though, a 35 year old dating a 45 year old is ok ish, 18 dating 28 seems too much of a gap

My experience: At 43 a 10 year age gap was fine. But 15 years later he’s retired and I’ve still got years to work. He’s an old man with old man energy and old man health issues, and it’s scary.

Could not have a large age gap personally at your age. Energy levels seriously slump in your 60s plus. I am very active and sporty and spend my weekends out and about. Plus I dont want the increased risk of just being a carer and compromising on my quality of life. Sorry.

I'm 60 in June, and happily married to my wife who'll be 54 in November. I have a relationship history of going out with older women, but in almost all cases, I knew they were flings that didn't, and couldn't, have a future. They were as follows:
1990 me 24, her 40
2000 me 34 her 45
2002 me 36 her 44
2005 me 39 her 45.
Multiple one or two night stands with women older than me along the way as well.
No future in any of them, and I knew it. Dunno about them, though.

Honestly I think similar energy levels are more important than chronology.
Some people are old in their 50s, attitude, health and lifestyle are more important.

When I was dating, I didn’t consider anyone more than 5 years older or younger. And 5 years would be pushing it, they would have to be really special. Personally, I think relationships are best when you are as close in age as possible, ideally, within 2 years.

I get that sometimes things just happen (in my 20s I dated someone with a much larger age gap, which was a mistake), but even so, I think an age gap of more than 10 years is asking for trouble. At some point, the older partner gets ‘too old’, and the younger partner wants someone closer to their own age.

It is only other people who have problems with an age gap in a relationship.

At 43 I met a 30 year old. We have now been together for almost 14 years. Hes probably more mature than me 🤣

Im 48 and in a relationship with someone 15 years older. Would i have gone looking for it? Absolutely not! We met in real life, so age ranges on an app werent a thing.

We have loads in common, get on really well, we have fun and are happy together. Never in a million years would i have sought out a man 15 yrs older, but its working for us prior to this relationship, if id read my own post, id have thought ut was bloody weird.

Its just personal preference surely? I'm 47 and look at men between 35 and 50 on dating apps

I’m 41, I used to prefer older when I was younger but now I’m the older one I prefer younger. Ideally 33-40. I have young kids and a busy life and want someone to be able to keep up with me plus I look a lot younger so can probably get away with dating a bit younger

I think that the last two posts kind of show that men aged 30-50 are in their peak, and are often attractive to women of a variety of ages. However, I think this gradually starts to change as they get older (some may hold on longer than others, but eventually the appeal to a younger partner starts to fade).

In other words, it’s not so much about the age gap per se, but more about when people are at their peak attractiveness.