Ex

[Booboo0101]

Hi, im at a loss as to what to do, my sons dad has agreed to come paint our sons room at my homr, he has never lived at, we have been split for 13 yrs and in this time he married , had another child and divorced, i had an off relationship myself with someone else that i ended last May.

a few months back my son said dad said he can paint my room, and to ask mum, meaning me. I am now over my split i created and have agreed he can do it. But i am at a loss as to why he has decided to help our son out. The split was bad, and his now ex wife was so abusive to me an our son it ended in harrassment orders placed on her.

Can someone advise why he would be forward and be ok being at my home painting for our son without considering how i felt abt everything. Our son is 18 in sept, why would he be putting feelers out as such? He was here a few weeks back after i called and said sort our son out as i can not get him to go to college. Whilst here he saw a item in a plastic bag, male 1, and asked whose's is that, i replied why do u want it?, his reply had me thinking coz his reply was DO I WANT IT then proceeded to smirk. An laugh a lil. This coupled with the fact he was on the phone the other day where i miss dialled him and told him it was a miss dial, proceeded to talk for 15 to 20 mins about his life.
Also the item comment and other day he dropped son home, smiled and asked how my new job was going. Where i couldnt hear him through car window he got out to talk.

Our son seems to think this that dad is here to paint his room and not to rekindle. But when at mine. I sat on my bed to put shoes on and caught him glimpsing me in my room. Whilst at mine he came into kitchen to to talk abt stuff unrelated to painting. Whilst here he mentioned our son would make me a grand parent soon, then switched to asking U DONT WANt MILORE KIDS do u. Which i found strange. Its been 13 yrs. Why would he wonder if i want more.

Sounds good. I hope it works out for you. Keep him this time.

Strange question. He did consider how you would feel him being around after everything that happened which is why he asked your son to gain your permission first. I'm not sure why you agreed, though. And now you are twisting yourself into pretzels second-guessing his motives when you could have just said no and left it at that.
You are not over him, plain and simple.

This is a huge amount of overthinking about someone you split up with a very long time ago.
My ex had a revelation after his second marriage imploded his whole life, but he did choose to marry someone who behaved appallingly. He recognised that he’d treated me badly and I hadn’t retaliated because we had kids who needed stability. He apologised (many times) and wanted to try again. I didn’t so I made this clear. He’s a decent dad and we’re friends now. Nothing more will ever happen.
Maybe your ex has eventually realised he’s made mistakes and he’s trying to make up for it by offering to help your son. That’s a normal thing to do if he’s a good dad.
It doesn’t mean he wants to get back together and even if it does, you can say no. Which sounds like the best option given the drama.
He probably just wants a better co-parenting relationship with you.

He's lining up the next girlfriend, openly asking you for sex while in your property.
Tell your adult son to paint his own room and to not invite the man into your house again.
Don't be at a loss, block the ex, there's no reason to allow him access to you again.

Why is anyone other than your 18 year old or you, painting the room at all?

I was just thinking 'why don't you do it yourself?' when I read on and it turns out your son's an adult.

None of this is worth the headspace over a job that'll take either or both of you a couple of hours.

He's obviously making a move on you. Are you interested?

If so, my view is that it didn't work before, so it's very unlikely it'll work again. Why didn't it work the first time around?

If you're not interested, make your son paint his room and keep ex out of your house. He's seeing if he can ooze back in until he can get his feet under your table again.

He wants a shag.