Hinge's "Long term relationship, open to short" choice what does it really mean?

[rubberduck68]

So I have been on three dates with men who have selected this option on Hinge" "Long term relationship, open to short." Each time I question them, they say a variation of the same thing, "well, it's always short until it's long." Hmmmm... I think that is different from actively selecting "open to short-term." Are they players seeking a fling, but using LTR to cast a wider net? I'd be interested to know if anyone has actually landed a LTR from a man who has selected this, or selected this yourself, whilst still wanting LTR as a goal? I just don't want to waste time on someone who isn't going to align (I want LTR.)

You’re reading too much into this. It’s not as if they can be held to their hinge profiles anyway is it. They all put that because at the end of the day they’d still be happy with a shag even if they want a LTR

I’ve not been on Hinge but I think it basically means: Let’s start with a few dates/ a shag but I’m open to something more if the right person came along.

That sounds like a euphemism if ever I heard one! Short = a quick knee trembler!

There is another option they could select on Hinge: "Short term relationship, open to Long," that fits that more perfectly, but they rarely seem to select that.

😂

Ha, yes, that has a different ring to it than the other way round.

I’m on hinge and have this selected also. You really are reading too much into this. The reason I chose it is because I am looking for a long-term relationship with the right person so if that right person came along tomorrow I’d be off the app completely and focused on building something with them. However, I’m also not opposed to having a fling with a total hottie who might not tick all my boxes for a LTR while on the search for a LTR (eg. our personalities/values don’t align but there’s strong physical attraction there, they’re at a different stage in their lives, they don’t want something long-term). If we met and those were the vibes, I’d make sure I was upfront with them about it not being anything serious and make sure we were on the same page. It doesn’t mean they’re players IMO, just means they’re open to going with the flow. Honest communication & being upfront is the most important thing. It’s no different to a man who’s chosen the “life partner” option who you might start seeing then he decides you’re not the “life partner” for him. I’d actually rather date a man who had selected the “long-term, open to short term” option rather than “long-term” or “life partner” cos I think it puts less pressure on the getting to know you phase and indicates someone who’s a bit more open-minded and maybe less rigid in what they’re looking for in a partner

I always interpret it they’ll take anything they can get.

I agree with this 💯

I selected this on my profile when i was on there. It meant:

"Long term relationship would be nice, but I'm secure enough that I won't be devastatingly heartbroken if something shorter lived was also a nice experience."

Is there an option called "I fancy a shag and I don't want to put anyone off"?

Because if not, I think it's basically that - want a shag, should it go long-term, great, but mostly about the shag.

I think it’s about casting the ‘net’ wider tbh. If you’re looking for something long term then that’s what you would select.
I selected long term, because that’s what I want. Yeh a short term fling is fun but if I’m going to go through the ordeal that is dating apps then I want to meet people that are on the same page as me.

Because they know most women will run a mile from that!

For the record, I have "long term, open to short on mine" mainly because I am acutely aware that the odds of me finding a long term relationship are scarce so I will take a few fun flings in the meantime. 😅

So ‘casting your net wider’ than what you really want, yeh?

Men who do not want long term relationships, are saying, lets have alot of sex but not become committed.

When I first joined dating apps though I was recently divorced and I didn't know if I wanted something long-term and complicated again.

I just wanted to have a little look around and see what was available and if anything developed into something serious than fair enough but my view was I didn't really want to live with anybody again having just got out of a 32 year relationship.

So perhaps men also feel the same way.

As it turned out I'm now in a really nice committed relationship but we are living apart because of family circumstances and it looks like we will do so for at least the next five years whilst my younger children grow up.

It means they're picking what they think will get them a date.

Men generally are never looking for something serious. They're looking to have a nice night, and if they have a nice night, then they'll invite that person out again.

We're not looking for someone to spend our lives with, we're not looking for love. Love is just something that tends to just happen without us realising.