Friend messaging my husband

[LaylaXxX]

I’ve seen a fair few threads like this but wanted to put my own personal story across. Any feedback is appreciated.

The friend in question is an old school friend. We haven’t met for around 15 years. We have eachother on social media and occasionally bump into eachother and chat then, but that’s all really. Haven’t fallen out or anything like that, life just happened I guess.

The other week my husband came home and said this friend had been messaging him. Her friend was married to one of my husbands former friends. They’ve recently broke up and she was asking him all kinds of questions about his former friend. A lot of voice messages, 5/6 minutes long. I thought it was a bit strange as they barely knew eachother but didn’t think too much about it.

A few days later my husband put some post up about going to the gym and she private messaged him about it. Just randomly started talking about how she’d just started, how much weight she’d lost, her muscle gains etc. She was rabbiting on, One message was ten paragraphs long. My husband showed me the messages. He was being polite, answering any questions or replying, but keeping it short.

I just thought this was really odd. No message to me saying she’d been asking my husband a few gym questions, or about his former friend. And like I said previously they barely knew eachother. I think he’s maybe bumped into her with me maybe 2/3 times.

Anyway am I reading too much into this and it’s just a coincidence that my husband has known about the two subjects she’s been asking about? Or is there maybe more too it? He said since they started chatting she likes a lot of his posts relating to the gym. But again, maybe just a mutual hobby and I’m looking too much into it. Me personally, I would have messaged my friend, and asked if she minded me asking her husband a few questions. But that’s just me.

How does she have your husbands number?

This was over social media. She added him not long after we got together, but they’ve never spoken on there up until now.

I’m guessing you don’t 100% trust your husband.

Has there been a past history of him behaving a little…. Well not as pure as the driven snow?

voice notes?

Why has your husband engaged in conversation? Has he said?
He doesnt need to "be polite". Either he enjoys the attention or he doesnt want it. If it was the latter, he would have ignored or asked her "politely" to stop messaging.

Sounds like its the former unfortunately

Yeah, you can do that on Instagram over DM. I didn’t actually realize this until my husband told me about the messages.

This wasnt what OPs post was about at all ?

OP, yes it is odd behaviour from her , less so if he also went to the same school , and more so if she only knows him as your husband

That's great your husband showed you everything - he will need to stop replying - she is pushing boundaries to see if there is any interest there, 200 pc

Your instinct is not wrong here it is odd, ask him to stop replying , he will

Why doesn’t he just mute her?

Simple enough really

I don’t read this as you don’t trust your husband. You don’t seem to be saying that.
I do think it’s weird of the other woman though. What’s her intention? I’d maybe mention to your husband you feel uncomfortable and ask him not to respond. I know he’s only being polite but she may read into it. Best to ignore. She’s strange.

I’m sure there’s Literaly hundreds of people online she could talk to about the gym.

Such bizarre replies, doesn’t seem like the poor guy has done anything wrong.

He should just stop replying at all as she isn’t getting the hint. Bizarre she thinks it’s ok to message paragraphs like that to your husband who she knows through you

He gets female attention the same as a lot of guys. At work, the gym, nights out etc. But there’s never been an incident of him with another woman throughout the relationship.

Urgh. I had a 'friend' like this. She managed to steer messages to an inappropriate level and then played victim, both with my now-ex and another mutual friends partner too.

She was an absolute 'pick me' type woman who didn't have a loyal bone in her body. Not a woman's woman atall.

Be wary definitely.. Some women get off on trying to get attention from other women's men.
It's good your partner has told you. Maybe he needs to stop responding or put something very blunt like "Good luck with the workouts, maybe me and Layla will see you around sometime, take care"

No

What does he say about it?

Is this about trust between you and DH ?

Are you asking us if you should ask him to block her?

Has he asked you what to do?

If i 100% trusted DH i'd almost be tempted to watch with him in fascination to see if/when she steps over the line to actual flirting.

Why do you keep needling the OP?

It's definitely odd behaviour though, i should have added.

I think she's fishing for him.

She sounds bonkers and like she’s probably trying to get on side to stir shit up about his friend. People can get weird when relationships break down.

He doesn’t have to respond. He can ignore or block her.

She is hitting on your husband.

Get on all of his devices and block her. Then you block her yourself on all of your devices.

It is highly inappropriate.

It isn’t appropriate a friend would have contacted you. He needs to nip this in the bud. No need for him to be “polite” of you and her aren’t close. This woman isn’t your friend.