Can snoring really break a marriage? Feels like it can right now [sad]

[pavlovthecat]

Its such a long story. I was going to name-change. But then thought, why? Why not be me in this thread? So here I am, being me, an upset me.

I am exhausted. Last night I slept from 11pm until 2:30am. I cooked dinner, put DD to bed, cleared ip after dinner, watered pants, had bath, got out of bath to settle DD, got back into bath, moisterised, read book, went to sleep. DH watched footie with a friend.

Woken by DHs snoring, Or maybe something else. I really dont know. Could not go back to sleep, as his snoring is so so bad right now, he struggles to breath, sometimes he stops (apnea) but not always, even when he is not stopped, it is laboured.

I have tried talking about the apnea, he brishes it off, refuses to deal with it, says its nothing.

For the last few weeks I had slept pretty much as last night. I work hard in the day, have little time to myself, if any, so I go to bed early. I cant always sleep then, cant sleep in the day.

Dh and I are spending less and less time together, I am in bed, he is on computer as I am in bed, s he comes to bed late.

Our sex life is non-existent, we argue about the smallest things, he is grumpy, I am grumpy He is cruel, I am probably cruel.

Today we talked about it. I shouldered some of the responsibility, as I am tired I know I can be a cow. he also blamed me. Asked me what I was going to do about it.

He says there has been no affection, no intimacy, and he feels there is a huge gap in our relationship. Her wont recognise his snoring as so significant, ay he will get a pillow.

We are meant to be going out for his birthday celebration tonight, have a babysitter and its the first time we have been our for a long time together without DD. IHe says I have ruined it.

Can it be the snoring? Can it be something underlying that we are not recognising? We got no-where this morning, DD had to get up, and I feel more distant from him, less like he is listening to me than I have ever felt.

And I cant stop crying.

I might not be back on for a while as has gone to shops and will be back soon.

Hey everyone.

I am sorry I have not been back on. We have been very busy with father's day and DHs birthday celebration, which I might not add I did not ruin in the end.

I did however, spend a fortune on facial stuff to ease the bags under my eyes. I could not remember the green stuff people have mentioned being advertised, but I am getting that as soon as one of you lovely people remind me of its name! I felt exhausted.

To top it off, friends came back to ours for a glass of wine, as the club we went to was a bit to loud for the oldies in the crowd . I went to bed, but they stayed until like 3am! So it was noisy and drunk DH came to bed. We had good sex and I slept much better, but fathers day sunday, hauled my sorry ass out of bed to cook breakfast and give DH a lie-in!

Last night, late night as I had to help DH with job app due in today. I think I just passed out. Woke up this morning 6am, and that was it. But 6 hours sleep last night, longest in weeks!

ITo top it off, I have done my back in. Its agony. I did my shoulder muscle in a few weeks ago and wonder if my muscles are tired?! IFKWIM? Oh I dont know, I feel old and tired and grumpy and, well you all know from your own experiences.

However, I do not feel so tearful. So desperate. DH has said he will try a memory foam pillow first. (he had promised me months ago he would see Dr about apnea side of things, yeah right!), but he keeps insisting its not his snoring waking me up, its me suffering from insomnia, and just his snoring is keeping me awake once I am awake already

He is sleeping on the sofa tonight, he is out and will be back late, as usual these days and does not want to disturb me. He is starting to understand how upsetting this is, even though he is clearly not ready to admit its his snoring and apnea thats causing it.

Poor you, Pavlov, a bad back on top of this

Would he consider going with you to the dr to discuss the snoring ?

(probably not, eh)

boys not a chance. I have posted about the sleep apnea on MN before. He absolutely refuses to acknowledge it is a problem. When it became prominent again on holiday in US, he blamed the jet lag, we agreed we would give it two weeks after returning and if not gone he would go to GP. It has not gone. He has refused to go, even when I told him he was risking his life, he just laughs it off.

It has come and gone, it terms of waking me, but over the last few weeks the snoring element has got significantly worse. I think it is not helped by him coming to bed late, as he pulls me out of a deeper sleep and perhaps this is why I cant sleep when before I could, I am already sleeping too lightly by this time.

He has always snored, but never this loudly. And its not just loud, it sounds more difficult, like he struggles, its not a case of pushing him from his back to his side like I used to do, or a gentle kick to move him. It makes no difference what position he is in .

Hi all, just wanted to bump this back to life.

Thanks for all your comments, its reassuring to know i'm not the only one that sleeps seperatly to dp.

POsated under the wrong heading i think so i maybe repeating myself.

Dp and I have been trying to share our bed again to try and build the gap that sleeping separatly has created. It has been tough as DP has been snooring but as DS is now sleeping thro not quite as tough to deal with. However, last night my DP was talking in his sleep, in a rather erotic manner. I was sooo upset, it makes me feel physically sick to hear him talk like that, he has done it before and it causes alot of probs as makes me not want to be near him.

Today DP went to docs about snooring which is great, but have no idea what to do about sleep talking, DP says he doesn't know why he does it, or remeber it.

Has anyone else has this?