What does it feel like

[ForLoudUmberScroller]

I’ve got so much going on in my life atm I don’t know if I’m happy I know I’m not depressed I have moments like everyone that will only last a few hours . What does truly feeling happy feel like ?

I’ve got 4 amazing children (16-9) one Sen
a partner of 4.5 years, we’ve had our ups and downs (more downs) before as I asked him to move out he’s still here , as he’s got no where to go yet the relationship is carrying on (my fault I know ) I feel like I carry the relationship, the responsibilities. i don’t feel like we’re progressing. I don’t feel like we have grown to be the best we can we. He’s more interested in Sitting down after work to watch tv whilst I sort tea out ( he’s only just started clearing up after tea after a few arguments) I’m fed up of the quiet tuts or huffs I get when I don’t discipline my children to his standards, (he has no children of his own ) I’m pretty relaxed parent , my children have been taught to respect people , but they argue with each other . They will lose phones or privileges . If they keep doing it after several times talking to them.
I’m a very independent woman . I can do it by myself I feel I’m missing companionship in my relationship, we don’t laugh anymore we don’t go out as a couple he’ll go to the pub Friday sat Sunday and Monday. When I’m at home with the kids .

I don’t really know what I’m asking , but I don’t think I’m happy . And would love to know what it feels like . Please

You don’t sound very happy and it sounds like your DP is adding to this, or at least not adding to your happiness.

perhaps it’s time he left, I’m sure he will make all the excuses under the sun but if the relationship is done he needs to leave. Is the house in your name?

Happiness is not just the absence of unhappiness. It’s feeling joy in things like coming home to your family, knowing you can enjoy your evening in their company. Knowing you can relax because no one is going to criticise your parenting and that no one is a cocklodger using your home and going out drinking 4 nights a week.

happiness is having the confidence to put yourself first because you deserve it.

You pretty much answered it, OP - Am I happy to still live with the person I asked to move out because I wasn't happy with him? Uhm... Answer is in the question.

You’re not happy. You’re coasting for an easy life and you need to stop so you can find true happiness with someone you want to be with and you aren’t just going through the motions with!

Just fuck him off OP.

He’s not making you happy. You don’t need him. He isn’t contributing anything.

Then spend some time thinking about what would make you happy- that isn’t about having a partner- and do that.

In my experience, you don't know how unhappy you've been until you are happy. People tend to normalize the unhappiness they feel to cope and survive. It sounds like you are doing this. You sound desperately lonely and unhappy from your post. Not sure what your DP is bringing to your relationship. Whether he has a place to go or not is not your problem. If you are done, you are done. Hope you and your children have financial security and can move on from this to a place that is recognizably happy.

What does truly feeling happy feel like?

Well, in my case, I would say feeling content and at peace. Me and DH have ups and downs (as all couples do) but ultimately I love him to death, I can't wait to see him every day and generally just being in his presence calms me and makes everything feel better.

When I was single prior to meeting DH I would have said the same. Happiness to me is being content with where you are in life.

Unfortunately you are never going to find happiness whilst you are living with someone you don't want to be with.