My ill health and lack of support. Do I leave my DH over it? Please help.

[SoConflicted0126]

I have name changed for this and I will try and keep this brief.

I feel like I'm betraying my husband even by typing this out so please be gentle with me as I am so upset and confused by my feelings.

I’ve been with my husband for almost 16 years in total and married for 13 of them. It’s always been a happy marriage, we have probably fought less than a handful of times and he’s a good man and a great dad. Our children are 10 and 7.

The last 6 years of our life had been very difficult with the re-emergence of a chronic health condition that I have which had previously lay dormant for 17 years. As a result of my condition being dormant for so long it had never been a part of mine or my DH’s relationship until it re-appeared 6 years ago. Obviously I had prior experience of living with this condition and all the challenges that come with it, but it’s the first time my DH has ever had to be faced with it. It went from being a condition I had but never featured in our lives at all to then being one that has changed our lives significantly.

Fast forward to now and our lives are very different. I had to give up my career (and regular income obviously) and my husband has had to pick up the slack in lots of ways…. carrying a much heavier financial burden and taking on a lot more of the childcare duties and general “life jobs” that we used to split 50/50. It has really changed the dynamic of our relationship. I’ve gone from having my own level of freedom and independence to now bring reliant on him in so many ways. I miss the person I used to be and the life I used to have - sometimes I don’t even recognise myself anymore.

Amongst it all I have really seen him step up and he has been fantastic, in day to day life he is supportive and caring, he understands my lows, he never makes me feel like a burden and he works so hard to make sure that our life remains safe and stable. I cannot fault him in any way in that regards.

However, when I have my flare up of my condition (usually once every 4-5 months), the way he behaves to me, during and after them is so hurtful. He makes me feel like I’m an annoyance, that having to “deal with me” is a hindrance and he doesn’t hide his irritation with regards to how the knock on effects of my flare ups impact his life. It’s like he wants me to know he is put out by it all but in a very passive aggressive way, for example with huffy comments and eye rolls etc. He shows very little support or compassion, concern or care at all. When I have my events I am terrified and confused, (and it does sometimes end up in A&E presentations or hospital admissions) and the one person I should be able to feel safe with, is the one person who makes me feel awful about it. I have no control over this condition and when I know I’m going to have an episode I fear his reaction more than the actual event itself. The way he treats me during it/after it has made me cry many times. I can’t bear it. It makes me feel so worthless.

Then a few days later when I’m starting to recover and getting back to my normal myself (of sorts) he reverts back to being the loving and supportive husband. Full recovery can take a week or so, and I can be very emotional during that time, but for those initial 1-2 days after the event where I’m still very much not myself and unlike the wife he “knows” he can be so distant and dismissive of me.

I just don’t know what to do.

For 350 days of the year he’s wonderful but for the other 15 days he’s someone who makes me feel so hurt. I go over and over and over it in my head all the time and there’s now this emotional space between us because I can’t move past the way he treats me, or makes me feel about myself when I’m at my most vulnerable.

I don’t know what to do.

Sometimes I even think about leaving him just for the protection of my own mental and emotional well-being but between my Disability benefit and the odd bit of work I do here and there, I only bring in about £800 a month, and of course there are the children to consider of course.

I have spoken to a close friend about it, who knows my husband well and who knows how out of character his behaviour is during my flare-ups. She thinks he behaves like it because he’s scared, he doesn’t know how to deal with and because he knows he cannot do anything to help. He’s very much a practical person in the way that some men can be. They see a problem and want to fix it, and with this he knows he can’t do anything to help and has to just watch me suffer. To me though it’s like he just can’t face it, or deal with it and his “go to” is to get angry that it’s happening without considering the impact it has on me.

I want me and him to be ok.

When the days after the event start to pass and my loving and supporting husband and all his wonderful qualities start to reappear I wonder if I’m over reacting but my anger and frustration at him is always there in the back of my mind. I am constantly questioning myself as to why he treats me like that. Maybe I need to accept that despite all the wonderful ways that he’s stepped up to keep the family afloat and all the ways that he does support me, that the genuine love and care that he should have for me just isn’t there.

My condition isn’t going anywhere, it cant be cured, and the thought of me having to endure this kind of emotional trauma every single time I have an episode, for the duration of my life/marriage just seems unbearable and untenable.

I have tried to talk to him about it but he just doesn’t understand.

What do I do?

I think your friend is right but that doesn’t make it any easier. I would try to point it out, in the moment to make it clear his behaviour is hurtful. If it continues, then your resentment will naturally grow and it will become a divide - is your condition degenerative? I would start thinking about who/how else you could access support when you are in hospital/unwell.

"The OP has not witnessed herself having a seizure, she suffers it, he has to deal with it and his own emotions which can be many, often mainly fear."

OP herself is terrified when she gets an attack. The centering of this man's feelings over OP's own - you know, the REAL victim here - is unfathomable.

"I know with my DC'S I tended to be very matter of fact which I think might have come across as uncaring."

Do you get angry with them and shout at them when they're having an attack? Do you roll your eyes at them? Do you give them the cold shoulder for days afterwards?

Can you do anything to discount him during your flares? Make a separate plan. Don’t come to hospital or get someone else to stay with you when you get out?

He sounds overwhelmed and resentful and incapable of full kindness at that time. That’s unlikely to get better but it sounds absolutely horrible for you. It’s the pits to have to rely on someone especially when they are resentful. Has he ever been unwell? Some people think their health is superiority of their choices and personal fantasticness.

I thought I would come and explain how my seizures present as it might help give me some context.

My seizures are mainly focal seizures which mean they only affect one part of the brain which means I am awake/conscious when they are happening, they are not the sort that cause people to fall unconscious and start convulsing (they are called generalised seizures).

In the 6 years my epilepsy has been active again, I have only had 4 generalised seizures, of which my husband has seen two of them (over two years apart). When I have these type of seizures they last about 30 seconds and then I start to come around.

With my focal seizures although I am awake they affect me more severely and last for much longer, often not stopping unless I have medical intervention, which is why I have to go to hospital.

With these type of seizures I experience absences (periods of going blank and unresponsive) but also episodes of confusion and heightened emotions, particularly fear. During these episodes I sometimes don’t know who I am or where I am or what’s happening to me.

I usually get about 1-2 minutes of “not feeling right” before my sensation of feeling weird rolls over into actual seizure activity (and it is during that time period that I will alert whoever I’m with that something is going to happen).

Once the seizure is taking place I can start pacing from room to room because of my confusion, I will often start crying because I feel scared and not understand why or whats happening to me. I will respond when spoken to and sometimes I’m calm and flat and give one word answers, but at other times I can be in such a state of heightened anxiety that I probably come across as quite erratic. I have absolutely no control over my feelings, my behaviour or my emotions.

If I’m asked questions about my children I will usually have forgotten I have children, I won’t know where I live if I’m asked for my address, if I’m asked about my job I will tell people I don’t have one (even though I do) etc. Whilst having one episode a doctor asked me if I’d been on holiday lately and I said no, even though we’d only got back from Paris about two days ago. I go into some kind of automated robot phase and sometimes I just give random answers to questions because I don’t understand what they’re asking me. I am very disconnected from reality, everything just feels like I’m in a dream. Another way my seizures present is that I have an impending sense of death, which is terrifying and I am convinced I am dying - again, this feeling is completely down to the seizure activity, I have no control over it and it is not an active choice I am making to feel like that. My absences sometimes last for seconds, sometimes minutes, and sometimes I have them back to back for hours…. So one minute I can be sitting on my bed feeling disengaged from reality and confused and then the next minute I’m in A&E having bloods taken with absolutely no idea why or how I got there, even though I’ve been conscious the whole time.

As the seizure activity dies down (after intervention) I obviously become calmer but the confusion and upset and memory loss can last for a good 24 hours to some slight degree, and I feel physically exhausted.

For most people who have seizures, whether they be focal seizures or generalised seizures, this post-octal phase of confusion, upset, memory loss can last for days whilst the brain activity slowly returns to normal levels and the brain recovers so it isn’t anything out of the ordinary. My husband gets really frustrated with me during this period too as well as during the actual time I’m having the seizure.

He has previously told me that the reason he gets impatient and so annoyed with me is because I don’t stop going on and “talking rubbish” and I won’t just “do as I’m told”.

And by that he means that because of my residual confusion and I may forget something that he told me 10 minutes ago, or if he tells me to get into my pyjamas and into bed, I will sometimes get into bed with my clothes on etc. He once got angry with me because he offered to make me a sandwich for lunch and I said yes, but then when he bought it up I had already forgotten about the conversation and I told him I wasn’t hungry. He slammed the plate down and shouted, “what a fucking waste of my time what was then” and stormed out the room.

It’s things like that.

He seems to thibk that unless I’m unconscious and having a convulsive seizure then it’s not a “real seizure” and therefore I have some level of control over what’s happening to me or how I’m happening. Sadly I think this is a very common stereotype when it comes to epilepsy.

Usually I am back to myself within 48 hours of having the actual seizure and then he treats me completely normally again, as if nothing ever happened.

Yeah, i completely see why you arent seeing this as carers fatigue, because if it was fear and fatigue then he would at least some of the time recognise he'd been a dick and come back and apologise and say he was stressed, the fact he doesnt do that means to me he thinks he is justified. If he was thinking 'okay, I got annoyed there and that wasnt good, but she gets it, i dont need to apologise, its hard for all of us' then when you bring up to him how it makes you feel he would say 'shit, im knackered but I thought you got it, thats on me' but he doesnt....

Your explanation is incredibly helpful. Quick question, has he been kinder and more understanding when you have a generalised seizure?

I’ve just had a quick Google and there are a few organisations for people with epilepsy and their families. Some of them offer support. Do you think he would be amenable to talking to some of these organisations to get a better understanding of your epilepsy, what it means for you and ways he can support you. Also there maybe a support group he could attend either in person or online with other people in similar circumstances (partners, parents etc), he may feel able to talk more freely, but also maybe learn from them better ways to cope.

I have a younger brother with epilepsy, his is currently under control, however up until late teens he would have fairly regular generalised seizures. Certain family members definitely reacted better than others. He had a very bad seizure in his early teens, he was in the children’s high dependency unit and they couldn’t bring him completely out of his seizure for nearly 48 hours. My Dad was useless, he didn’t even visit him in hospital (my Mum stayed with my brother), using the excuse he had to look after the other children. It was a completely fabricated excuse as I was 19, my sister 13 and even my other younger brother was 8 or 9. Either me or my sister could have looked after my younger brother whilst he visited, he was just too scared to. I’ve noticed it at other times too, he just cannot cope with serious illness and just shuts down to it.

Gosh the seizures sounds so much to deal with @SoConflicted0126, so frightening and upsetting, and then to have to deal with your DH’s awful responses to these on top.

i struggle to understand how anyone can think he is just responding reasonably to stress. I would expect more understanding and support from an acquaintance to someone dealing with what you experience, never mind a partner. It’s very hard to understand how he can present so differently in everyday life compared to when you are unwell. Jekyll and Hyde. It must be very mentally destabilising for you. It’s almost like he doesn’t believe you are having a seizure and thinks you are just choosing to act as you do, when it’s completely out of your control, and of course distressing for that very reason.

I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this condition OP.

I have to be honest I would find what you’re describing stressful to deal with. In some ways it has common ground with dementia - confusion, heightened emotion, memory loss, possibility of hospital admission. It’s easy to get angry with an adult who’s not “doing as they’re told” even you know full well there’s a medical condition behind it particularly when you’re overloaded with work and home. It’s not an enlightened reaction, but a relatively common one.

That said DH’s reaction is quite extreme. He lacks insight into his own behaviour and into the effects of your seizures. He needs more understanding of what is happening, but it’s surprising how many people can’t be bothered to research the illnesses that they’re dealing with in the family. It also doesn’t sound like he really has the patience and compassion to deal with a long term chronic condition. Fear, frustration, impatience, stress and anger combine in him and he lashes out at you as the cause.

I don’t agree that there’s definitely no carer fatigue here, it may be carer fatigue combined with innate character flaws.

I wouldn’t even say that how he is in his worst moments defines how he sees you. It’s perfectly possible for both poles to be true - that he loves you and cares about you on the one hand and despises your condition on the other.

The question is whether is is able and willing to recognise these patterns in the aggregate and work on them or not.

I would be very clear in your discussion, I don’t think you need to be “gentle” - that all of this needs to change fundamentally or the marriage cannot continue.

@Inthedeep- no he doesn’t treat me any different when I have generalised seizures. He still gets annoyed about how confused I can be for the following 24-48 hours. He’s generally quite cold towards me, no concern or reassurance or anything like that. On the two occasions where he wasn’t present when they happened and I was taken to hospital, when he came to sit with me in A&E he was quite clearly irritated by my confusion. A lot of eye rolling when I was giving incorrect answers to the doctors, looking down at the floor and shaking his head from side to side in annoyance etc. It was really hurtful.

@SoConflicted0126 sorry to say this op
. however it did sound like he is possibly embarrassed by you . Joking in a hospital inform of nurses know doubt.
They say men are visual and he clearly is put off when he sees your condition playing out on front of him.
I too was going to ask about sex . I see you have answered that.

Honestly you deserve better. It’s seems
you would mange just fine without him . You have your mum and family around.
I don’t think he seems like a carer but someone who does a she pleases and had full time child care . Clearly he never tooke his vows in true faith.
How often do you go out together ?
I think there may be a possibility that if he wasn’t there then maybe you wouldn’t be so anxious about an episode and possibly then would lessen in time .

Your thread has been on my mind, & I have been questioning my situation & how I survive it.
I can see how untenable it is for you, but you aren’t prepared to consider the reality your seizures have on your H.
From what you added, He doesn't seem to understand the profound reality of how it affects you from start to finish.

Clearly he behaves appallingly when you are having an episode

You say he is normally a great husband, & you are seriously considering a divorce over it.
I doubt he would put up a fight.
You didnt choose this, but neither did He.
In his mind he is the “sacrificial lamb”. He has to manage the whole shebang before, during & after you are “absent”.
Plus the extra parenting etc

In my situation,I have often thought, If my H had had a head injury from a car accident, there would be a visible reminder that he was brain damaged. Instead its invisible.
It’s not always chaos, but when it is, its like a massive emotional overload . & I once again have to pick up the pieces.
I reallt do try to do it gracefully.
Its really fucking hard, & I try to keep my calm, be patient & kind.
I do not always manage.
There are days when I have just had more than I can take.
I think you, (both,) should get therapy to try & accept how it affects him. no one is perfect 100% of the time.
Should you divorce, my impression is that it would be globally a lot worse for you. Would you manage alone with the constant possibility of a seizure. Who would be calling the ambulance , & caring for the dc while you are in hospital & recovering?
Would you necessarily get the guard of the dc if he fought it ?

Certain family members definitely reacted better than others.

A truth I learned very early in my life - is that some people don’t deal well with illness at all. Some people do not want to deal with illness full stop. Some are afraid, some are judgmental and critical. Some see illness as a weakness. Even if they know it wasn’t your fault - they put it down consciously or unconsciously to character weakness.

Short term illness is a lot easier to deal with than a long term chronic conditions that will never improve. It’s those that drain carers the most. Everyone can run a round with flowers after a short hospital stay. It’s the long marathon of chronic condition that is really challenging. I would say the Florence Nightingales of the world are very much the minority.

Yeah he does seem to be embarrassed by you. You said he feels the need to impress other people. These two go together.
I don’t know enough about epilepsy, but can the stress and worry you are experiencing make the episodes more frequent / severe?

I am not sure this conversation should be outside at a formal anniversary dinner OP - I would do that only if I still believed he was essentially a good man , and we don't know that for sure now do we.

Enjoy the anniversary dinner as an opportunity to get dressed up and go out, eat some good food

Pick a time in safe surroundings but at home with someone you trust on call - ask them to call you if you do not text in an hour , decide you will wrap up the discussion in an hour - factually state your reading of his facial expressions and verbal insults during and after seizures. Keep it short and unemotional (this is vital). See what he says.

Does he acknowledge or deny?

If he denies it and says you are imagining his bad behaviour due to your episode (DARVO classic) then stop there and say you have never imagined such bad behaviour from your dad or mum or the hospital nurses - therefore for the time being, it may be best if he did not come into hospital at all during, after episodes.

He must call the person of your choice and handover quickly to them , then go watch the kids or even go watch a football game, because he is useless and less than useless during episodes - His behaviour is worse than the actual seizure. If he is not ashamed at this point, you know what you need to do.

Build a system and process where you have other safeguards in place to handle episodes even if that means asking NHS for home care, I would rather even up my hours again at wfh and pay for someone to come in and check in on me everyday. Show him you are dealing with it without his help, he will come around then. He thinks the epilepsy has made you weak, you are not. Fuck him. But show him that through actions not words/emotions.

Karma will get this guy.

I do think it changes his perception of me as a woman and I think he’s embarrassed. I agree.

We probably go out together as a couple about once a month. My medication has a negative effect on my energy levels so we tend to go out and enjoy daytime activities now as opposed to “date nights” as by 9pm I usually feel really tired.

I’m so glad you have your lovely supportive and protective children @SoConflicted0126. And it sounds like your parents are also supportive.

I can’t help wondering what effect your relationship is having on your mental health and whether this is having an impact on your physical health and epilepsy (I have no medical knowledge in this area but just some understanding of how our minds, bodies and health are deeply interconnected). You are living under an enormous amount of daily stress and distress. It can’t be good for you.

@SoConflicted0126
What you describe is really difficult to live through, for you, and I am sure for the people around you. Losing track of time and self must be terrifying.
On your H's side - a certain level of frustration is also understandable.

My mother cared for my stepfather for years after his stroke. He was fairly mobile, but there were challenges that she needed to navigate around. She did it all with a combination of love and duty that she felt. And yes - frustration and tiredness also were part of it. So - she did get annoyed at times, and was probably at times appearing "uncaring" to him. And he did sometimes get upset - but in reality, I think it was all rooted in him feeling frustrated because of the state of his life/health.

I don't think your H does not love you. I do think the situation is difficult for both you and him. I also think that at least part of what you feel about how he is in that time is related to your altered mental state during seizure/post seizure recovery. You admit it yourself - you lose chunks of time, are highly anxious and emotional, and most likely highly irrational.

As to separation and thinking through practicalities of it all - please think and prepare before you start. You are clearly in a difficult emotional state - and it is hard making practical decisions while being deeply unhappy.

One of the main issues in it would be how your life would actually work. On one hand you say - you can't out on your own, as the seizures can happen at any time. But then you also say - you'd be OK on your own with (or without?) children around.

Your H is very likely to ask for 50/50 on children's care. And if he does - he'll most likely receive it. So the "usual", and very common arrangement these days is kids being with you on a week on/week off basis. So - in such setup - how would you make yourself safe in the weeks when you are fully on your own? Who would help you if you have a seizure? Who would take you to hospital? Etc.
You'll need a solid plan in place for all eventualities.
And, not to scare you - but if your H goes there - he'll probably have a case for having kids with him more than 50%.

So - please, do think about practical details of separating. And maybe - talk to a solicitor? So that you know facts and are prepared.

It seems to me from your posts that you feel like you need to express your resentment and unhappiness to your H. You are planning to have this conversation at your anniversary dinner - which would feel like an ambush to your H. You feel to you that this would give you emotional relief. And partially it is true. BUT - it will also start a very stressful period in your relationship, with high conflict and uncertainty. And this is not great for your condition - so minimising the effect on you by planning and preparing would be a wise step.

Should She divorce , she would be 'globally worse off' you say? Who would call the ambulance you ask? Who would look after the kids you wonder?

So her only choice is to stay with someone who sneers at her when she is at her most vulnerable during an episode ? What if she took a house right next door to her parents PP ? What if by the time her parents were aged and not able to call the ambulance , her kids were in their mid teens and upward, and they could call the ambulance?

what bliss it would be to not have him sneering and calling the ambulance? Is he really calling the ambulance without any delay if hes busy sneering and eye rolling? Is he the one having a seizure one wonders. That might be the only explanation that justifies this.

What if, instead of wasting time with this fucker the 350 days of the year that she was well, she was building a support system of genuine friends? Maybe join the various support groups there are out there , and be a source and a receiver of all the empathy there is available out there?

My kids are amazing about it!

They have always known about my epilepsy, what it is and how if affects me and how to get help.

When I have one of my episodes my eldest one just sits next to me and holds my hand and keeps telling me that I’m having a seizure but everything is going to be ok, whereas my youngest sings a song to me that we used to sing together all the time when he was really young. Obviously in that moment I don’t understand the significance of what they’re doing, and I don’t understand why my son is singing to me and I don’t recognise the song etc, but I do believe that in some way it must bring me some comfort.

@SoConflicted0126 this is a very hard question but do you think he still loves you, or do you think he’d walk away if you offered him that chance? Either way, how he’s treating you is not acceptable and should not be allowed to continue. If you believe he still loves you, I suppose the question is do you still love him after everything he’s put you through?

If you do still love him and you believe he still love you, then for your own sanity he needs to address this. Lay it on the line, it’s either separation or he works on his behaviour. It’s not a case of words, him saying he’ll do better, he needs to show it. Get him to go to counselling, get him to contact support groups, he needs to show he’s willing to work on this.

For your own mental health please get counselling. EMDR may also be really beneficial. I’ve had it and it worked wonders for my health anxiety and PTSD. You really need support and help process things yourself. Have you spoken to others who have the same kind of epilepsy as you? It may really help and make you feel less alone. I know your life has changed unimaginably, but is there a way you can start to see friends again safely? Meeting up for a cake and drink or inviting them over to your house. Good friends should understand and want to support you.

They both sound lovely 💜 This is the kind of love and support we all hope for from our nearest and dearest in our lowest moments. I know your life is very difficult but you are very blessed with your lovely children and should feel very proud of them.

This is exactly what I would do in your situation OP (In fact , it is exactly what I am doing in my situation currently married to an abuser too)

> Wait till younger DC is 12/13 and starting high school to leave. By then elder one is 16. The time period between now and then is for you to build up to the life of dignity and freedom you will have without him

> Dont tell him you plan to leave in 5 years (lets say 2030 end. put a number to it, a time stamp). Eye roller does not deserve to know your plans.

> Tell him to the point and factually how his behaviour comes across during episodes, suggest the option of stepping away immediately after calling the ambulance - ER/A&E will take care of you without eye rolling. Call someone else to come.

> In the next five years, build your support systems with your eye on 2030. You will not feel like an 'epileptic' once you have left him, because that is what he has made you feel - you will be a hot, sexy, wonderful, kind, funny, interesting WOMAN who has 4 epileptic episodes a year , you won't be defined by it anymore 24/7 the way you are now. Talk to lot of other people battling the same condition who will not compromise on being treated well 24/7.

> You leaving will show your kids the difference between right and wrong, and how someone (your H) can lose everything precious in life because of lack of empathy, as they should.

The main reason I suggest waiting 5 years is he sounds like the type of creep to ask to be the resident parent using your illness as the cause and giving you just alternate weekends. When they are old enough (at least 12/13+) they get to ask for at least 50/50 of the time with you and by 15+ they can choose to not see their unempathetic dad at all.

Dont protect his Jekyll and Hyde secret - tell everyone (esp your kids at a time/age appropriate for them)

@SoConflicted0126 If you haven’t already been in contact with someone like Epilepsy Action, please do, they have all sorts of support including befriender service which I found invaluable.

https://www.epilepsy.org.uk/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18393577894&gbraid=0AAAAAo8efzMmyMPlwckU72eZHhjTIO1R7&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIp4G_o4-ukgMVPpdQBh07xQSjEAAYASAAEgLP6vD_BwE

Are you still able to respond to him in bed during the well 350 days of the year?

Your body must be so replused by him now, knowing what it knows about Hyde hiding inside Jekyll (or is it the other way round). Do you have to force yourself to relax and enjoy intimacy on the 350 days he deigns to be nice to you

If we did separate the kids would be perfectly safe with me, that’s not an issue at all.

Over the last 6 years my husband has gone away abroad for periods of time and I’ve been at home with the children on my own and it’s fine.

Sometimes he goes away with the children for periods of time and I’m home alone and it isn’t a problem at all.

I have friends and family who all live close by if I need them. I have warnings before I have my seizures so I can always get help (or my children can).

Before meeting my husband I used to live alone despite my epilepsy and I was fine despite having seizures. People who have epilepsy are safe to live alone with the right protective measures in place if necessary.

Epilepsy is an extremely common neurological condition (I think it’s 1 in 30 people have it), and it isn’t a huge barrier to a normal life that some people think it is.

The only reason I don’t go out alone is because on one occasion a few years ago I went out shopping and I had a prolonged episode of back to back absences and because nobody was with me to notice it I ended up walking around random streets for hours on end and technically went “missing” as nobody knew where I was. I have absolutely no recollection of it. Thankfully I didn’t come to any harm and was able to call for help when I started coming to and realised that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. As a result of that happening I enabled a tracker on my phone which is monitored by both my parents with the plan that if they see that I have left my house they will phone me and tell me to just stay where I am and then they will come to me.

It’s never happened though (touch wood) since the initial episode almost 3 years ago but we all feel better in the knowledge that there is that level of protection in place if needed.