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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel so lonely and dating apps aren’t working

1 reply

tiredwomansomewhere · 26/01/2026 19:10

Hello lovely people,

just wanted to rant and for someone to listen and perhaps give me some advice.

im a single mum in her early 30s. Been separated three years as finally decided to leave an abusive husband who kept cheating on me. I felt so much pressure to stay because we have two children together, we even got back together but when I caught him with his mistress again I told him to leave. Since then I’ve had flashback nightmares of when his mistress used to harass me, he even used to send my pictures and private details to her.

since the separation I’ve focused on myself, got a full time job and went to therapy. Gave myself time alone to regenerate. I’m proud to say I’ve moved on and ensured my two girls have had a smooth transition and a decent lifestyle. Not hard to do in this economy. Their dad hardly helps and I’ve had to fight him for child support.

Ive tried online dating but the men seem so…underwhelming. I’m super selective and easily get matches. I’m usually told what is a woman like me doing on the apps (eye roll) but I work two jobs, only hang around women and the kids take all my time. I actually can’t believe I’ve managed to date people last year. I have thick skin and don’t easily get attached. I’m just looking for company.

i have a big family and lots of female friends but it still feels so lonely. I’m able to fill my time with art and culture but there’s still this inner need to have a companion. But most men seem to have so many issues. My married friends are all so unhappy. My single friends (childfree) have been treated horribly by men. I’m okay being on my own but I’m at a point where I feel like I’ve started to wake up to the fact that a lot of men don’t like women and very few are great.

my ex is still causing me grief, I feel so much pressure being a mother, the days feel so hard. I also only seem to be attracted to men from a certain culture/religion. But my culture and their culture are absolute enemies right now (I think you can guess the conflict).

im considering going back to therapy. Any other woman going through something similar? How to get through feeling so lonely? So hopeless?

from the outside people think I’m so strong and so happy but I feel like dying inside.

OP posts:
Error4O4 · 26/01/2026 19:19

Honestly, I look at dating apps now as what's left. It's the laziest of ways to get to know someone. There is no romance, no coup de foudre, it's just random people being selected through a pic and a bio that's probably written by chat gpt and hence why 9 times out of 10 they fail or end horribly wrong. Obviously if you just want random people to chat with or have a bit of fun it's brilliant but if you're looking at settling down I would advise against it. Sign up to random activities that you like, gym, kayaking, hiking, cooking, etc and you will meet so many people that for a starter you have something in common, and you can get to know them gradually and let things evolve naturally. Good luck with it all anyway.

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