Have you ever?

[NeatSeal]

Have you ever been in a relationship that has got stale and no spark, then turned things around with same partner to be a good relationship?

No & wondering the same thing

I think relationships are naturally up and down and I also don't believe that you can be in love 100% of the time.

Counselling helps, trying to find time for each other and better communication improves things.

If you want to work on it that is.

If you've tried everything and you still don't like the person you're with, get rid.

Yes. I've been with my DH for about 12 years. We were on and off when we first got together, then solid for a good few years til we had kids. Then things went south in many ways and I was extremely unhappy. We temporarily separated (only a few weeks, to get some headspace) and divorce was on the cards. We got some relationship counselling, and managed to turn it around. Our relationship hasn't been perfect, however I have found that since then, our communication is so much better and we know how best to deal with things. We have got to "room mate" status at times, and we have to really put effort in from both sides to keep our relationship alive. A long term relationship does take work, it needs nurturing and it needs attention - love doesn't just happen and stay there! We are probably now the best we have ever been, ironically because we have had so many problems in the past that we have a good understanding of how to deal with things. We know each other and how to communicate. We try to appreciate each other, prioritise each other and make time for each other. We also know how to own mistakes and apologise.

The crux of it is, are you happy? Does the person make you feel good? If not - can you work on it, and is the outcome going to be worth the effort you put in, or are you better off trying to find a better match?

In my experience, people don't change. They are who they are, and we have to accept people that way. Can you change the way you respond to them? Can you improve the quality of your time together? Yes. But only if they are worth it!