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Relationships

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Jobs & sex..

3 replies

YourDearDog · 25/01/2026 11:39

Just wanting some advice and opinions. Long term relationship 1 child, he became a chef nearly 2 years ago and works late 5/7 days a week. Weekdays till 10/10:30pm and weekends can be until 11pm. Feeling lonely and want him to be home more and change jobs but he says because of flexibility of being able to pick our son up from school when im working and the tips he doesn’t want to leave, but I want to be able to spend more time with him and it’s not all about the money. He didn’t intentionally become a chef was a bartender and got dropped in the kitchen he loves cooking and the job but also says he doesn’t want to do this forever.

His sex drive used to be ridiculous he would be a pest and want it everyday but recently it’s dropped massively. Feel like whenever I want it and try to initiate there’s always a reason he doesn’t want it, which is making me feel unwanted and rejected because as of recent it’s more me making the effort wanting it than him. He doesn’t show intimacy like he used to like random acts of touching me etc and it’s making me sad. He says he does want it and i am wanted. I don’t feel that way.

any advice?

OP posts:
SatelliteSpaceman · 25/01/2026 12:01

Those hours are pretty unsociable- but lots of people work unsociable hours, police, NHS ,paramedics etc - I think asking someone to give up their job is a bit unreasonable really- especially if childcare fits around it 🤷🏻

sex wise- you need a decent conversation- you also probably need to initiate more and maybe be a bit less sensitive around rejection as it sounds like the roles have reversed somewhat

Samsungasong · 25/01/2026 17:23

I would think he's had his head turned

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 25/01/2026 19:01

If he’s doing split shifts he probably just knackered, chef life.

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