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Relationships

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Tried and tested ways to find that spark

1 reply

NeatSeal · 25/01/2026 08:51

Been with partner for 15 years and feeling that my relationship has run its course as there does not seem to be any spark between us. Being honest, I’m not sure if there ever was or if that was just early relationship feelings.

On paper I have what I’ve always wanted, a man who I enjoy spending time with, we have kids together to whom he is a great dad and also helps around the house, works a good job and wants to spend anytime not working with us, we’ve got a bought house and engaged to get married but reality is that I’m so down as I feel there is absolutely no spark between us. Even when he proposed to me last year, I said yes because it was like a tick off the list, I never said yes because I feel madly in love and so excited to be doing it. My dream would be to find that spark with him and happily spend our life’s together.

We have spoke about it and both agree on the spark issue. I’m not sure if a spark can just be found if it’s not naturally happening. I’ve always believed that a relationship needs constant work and effort, but not sure if spark is something that can be worked on.

Has anyone been in a similar position? How did things end up and is there anything that you would recommend?

OP posts:
Endofyear · 25/01/2026 09:36

If there was never really a spark and you're not attracted to him, I can't see how you can make it suddenly appear. I think you either have chemistry with someone or you don't, sorry 😔 the fact that you're not in the least bit excited about getting married says it all really. It sounds like he's a nice person that you co-parent with amicably but he's not the person you're in love with. I don't know if that's enough to stay together for.

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