We've been having problems for well over a year now. No cheating on either side.
I feel that i can't delend on my husband to defend me when i'm not in the room so to speak. There was an incident with fil last Summer where he didn't defend me when i was in the room. Fil is an idiot and says rude things deliberately to provoke a reaction. I try to avoid my in laws.
We've been working on ourselves and our relationship. Last night dh defended his dad over something he had said about me saying he doesn't think his dad is that clever to be so unkind. I didn't see red as such but it just finished something in me. I told him i want out of the marriage. We've been married over 20 years. Dh has said that last night made him realise that he feels conditioned by his parents to always jump when they say and he knows his dad is awful and doesn't understand his need to please them all the time.
Dh is now having time to "process" upstairs while i look after our severly disabled child in the front room.
I feel like he's let me down so many times with this i just can't do it all again.
There's no cheating, no abuse, nothing major but he's just like a child in a 50 odd year old body. I'm noy sure what to do but we can't carry on like this.