I think DH and I have a pretty healthy (but not picture perfect) relationship.
What are verbal exchanges like? Generally lighthearted, inside jokes and made up words and doing long-running nonsense bits we've been developing for a second and singing made up songs. We can talk about serious things too, but our day-to-day default is definitely 'silly'.
How does the mood and energy feel? Very much a unit of two. It's the thing I like most, I think. We treat everything from a trip to Screwfix to going to the carwash as a hangout with our favourite person and it's really nice. We're always pleased to see each other at the end of a day (or even just a few hours doing our own things in separate bits of the house - he will come looking for me just for a kiss and then trot back off to whatever he was doing).
What is the level of physical affection? We have sex less than we'd both theoretically like to because life's busy and we're tired, but we're generally pretty affectionate - kiss on the shoulder while the other one is brushing their teeth or cooking or whatever, big cuddle if we're in a lift alone in a carpark, hold hands when we're walking places, that kind of thing. A lot of egregious bum grabs (wanted and enjoyed by all parties, lest anyone get the pearls out).
How is conflict resolved? Here's where we get to the 'not picture perfect' part 😂 I need to beat an dead horse, that's how I process things - talking round all the perspectives, wanting to get my point across. He needs to retreat and go into himself and think it through then come back calm and want to ignore it. So over the years I've learned to say 'right, go on, let's talk later' and trust that he wants to come back and sort it out, and he's learned to know that I need a proper verbal resolution so he'll come back ready to talk it out. Before, I felt abandoned and like he was sweeping stuff under the rug/not actually resolving anything, and he felt like I was badgering him and trying to make him agree rather than reaching a shared point of view. Now on the occasion we do have an actual disagreement - which isn't often - each other from separate rooms/the car/whatever where we could type our thoughts out calmly and that works well for us. I'm always surprised when I read threads where people have never raised their voice or had a cross word. We've only had a handful of these proper rows in 15 years, but they've happened. I don't think those are aspirational, obviously, but I don't think they're unusual, and I think if the foundation of the relationship is good and solid and you're fundamentally on the same team then you know it'll be okay.
What typically is the most repeated negative pattern in your relationship? Is it something trivial like him leaving the loo seat up or do you have any unresolved issues?
We might half-jokingly bicker about not letting things rot in the fridge (my worst crime, apparently) or the correct place to leave your socks after a shower (his most annoying trait) but generally we don't have much to argue about. I think the only time we've ever had Proper Arguments over the years have almost always been one of us reacting too quickly to what we assumed the other person meant/misinterpreting the tone. We're both quite oversensitive in that way - so for example when we were very poor and stressed about money, we were never arguing about how to actually handle the finances, but one of us had gone on the defensive about HOW it was brought up or the wording of what was said and then the other been upset that they were being made out to be deliberately mean.
We both know we're bad for it and it so rarely happens these days - we've maybe had one big need-to-get-some-space-for-an-hour row in 5 years, we just know now to get on the same page if we're discussing something big and trust that we're on the same team, even if both of us default as people to being a bit defensive.