Sleeping over for first time with tummy issues.....

[CowPony17]

I have met someone and am really happy, it's been 3 years.
For the past few months I have been suffering really badly with my tummy. I have recently found out I have cows milk intolerance so have cut it out.
My tummy is still playing up, I always have gas and need to pass wind and worry I will need to go to the loo.
He knows I have this intolerance but I haven't said anything else. When I get anxious I feel like it plays up more.
I am hoping to stay over sat night but I am so scared my tummy will play up.
Does anyone have any advice please?

It’ll be a bit embarrassing doing a Dutch over at your first sleepover. I’d swerve it for a while till you get sorted

I agree, because how the heck are you going to be able to relax for fear of the worst.

Youd want to feel your best, as apart from wanting to feel comfortable, you’d want to feel confident.

Are you worried that it would be taken the wrong way if you said you’d rather defer til you are feeling 100%.

if the shoe was on the other foot, you’d much rather that both of you were comfortable, and not secretly dreading anything embarrassing.

ive been with my darling a great many years, and if I have “issues”, it is taken on the chin, but on first time occasions, I can see that you’d want it all to go without hitch.

Imodium, sip water and don't overdo the alcohol. I'd avoid eating x

These kind of things are so awkward at first, so I really feel for you.
However, at what point do you think you would get comfortable with these type of things? At some point youll be ill, fart in front of him etc and altho yes it is cringey the first time, it gives you an idea of the person as a whole. How they react, how they look after you etc

Just let him know you have a dodgy tummy and I’m sure he won’t care if you need to run to the loo after dinner. This wouldn’t even have registered as a thing to think about if Dh had mentioned it to me. Other than to worry that he was okay.

Oh I took it that she’d been single 3 years and this was going to be their first night together . I could be wrong

Google ‘shreddies pants’, underwear and pjs with filters in, very effective at stopping any smelly emissions, I wear them on flights.

I've got Crohn’s disease so I’m firmly in the love me, love my dodgy bowels camp. I certainly wouldn’t wait for this problem to go away, I’d never of met DH if I had. Just own it, excuse yourself to the loo and do what you need to do.

And as for needing the loo, flush as soon as you poo to get rid of the smell quickly and mask any noise and then flush again when you’ve finished. Poopouri is a good product too.

I have a similar thing - for me it seems to be menopause related?!? Bloating and gas - very uncomfortable at times. I've found digestion enzymes from Holland and Barrett really help - not expensive, I take one every morning. Not on HRT, don't need it otherwise.

I think go for it, unless you're so uncomfortable you wouldn't enjoy it. If you enjoy spending time with him, as it sounds like you do, and have been looking forward to it, just do it. If he reacts badly to something out of your control, you have the measure of the man. Don't get too het up about it - would a man?

Thanks for your replies.
Its been 3 years since I have been with anyone and this is very new.
Tonight, thought I had done so well. He picked me up so I could have some wine and we chilled. I got this free from cheese and bacon thing from tesco that I had for dinner assuming it was free from everything.
Stupid me. My tummy has been playing up and its got cheese in it. I feel dreadful.
I literally feel like not eating anything

Have you tried a Lactase supplement. One of my children has a fairly bad intolerance with allergy like symptoms. The consultant suggested them and they have changed the game. You will need a couple of weeks to really build them up in your system but even the first dose helped DC.
Boots own brand are the really good.

@CowPony17 Sending very un-MNs hugs & support 💐 I’ve very severe IBD & an ileostomy, & nights with a new partner only add to the stress & anxiety. I’ve resorted to not eating anything/as little as possible in the run up to a date/staying over (Safe food all the way), & a cheeky glass of wine to settle my nerves even more. But it is very much trial & error. If he’s a good’n then he’ll help make a joke of toilet trips & dodgy tummies ❤️

3 years in? Surely you are comfortable enough now?

Well done for trying! Keep going, the more you do it the less awkward you’ll feel about it. What’s the worst that can happen? He dumps you because of it? Then he’s not your person.

You might just find him to be kind and understanding though and you’ll end up in a real relationship where this kind of thing doesn’t matter.

Perhaps you need to read the OPs post again?

As said, there are many small but potent post poo sprays/drops you can carry discreetly.
As for the noise, my friend had a similar concern and would carry a small stereo, when she needed to poo she would just turn it on to silence the wind and splashes. Apparently "Nights in white satin, by the blue Moodies' was their song to indicate she was passing motion subtly

Try a low fodmap diet OP it’s definitely helped me I’m lactose intolerant but also cannot eat onion beans some veggies mushrooms and wheat