Is it quality over quantity when it comes to messaging?

[rubberduck68]

I am talking on Bumble to a man who looks good on his profile, comes across well in his messages, but he only replies to a message every 2-3 days, and one paragraph at a time. I know he is not a scammer or married as we have one mutual friend (discovered by accident when I showed her his profile and she said she knows him through work, and that he's "a lovely man.") We only matched last week, but I am wondering if I should read anything into the delayed messages? My last two exes hit the ground running with constant messaging, and they turned out not to be lovely men.

I think so early on and before meeting in person it wouldn’t worry me - especially as you know someone who knows him in real life. I think lots of messaging early on can spoil a first date!

If you were actually in a relationship I would prefer more frequent communication.

I hate pointless ‘hi how are you’ messages tbh and I’d rather arrange a meet up after a few days than waste time on messaging.

He maybe just isn't it to that good morning and good night crap. Maybe he just sends a message if he has something to say eg confirming a meeting . Give him a chance 🤷‍♀️

These are all good points. Another question: would any of you match his messaging timeline, and wait a day or two, or just do you?

I would just do you, but if his texting style annoyed you I’d probably not bother meeting up. Having a similar attitude to communicating is important.

Do what feels right to you. If your communication is mismatched than it might not work but meet him first. Have either of you suggested a date?

No date mentioned yet. He's been really engaged with my profile so far, which is good, but I presumed the slow replies meant he wasn't that interested... I'm rethinking that now.

Definitely meet him. Some of my best connections have been with men who aren’t into messaging.
Sometimes the love bombers spoil it for everyone.

I cannot abide the ‘good morning, have a lovely day’ and ‘good evening, how was your day?’ generic messages. I actually wouldn’t meet someone who engaged in that. I’d much prefer someone to message spontaneously when they had something interesting to say.

And ‘hitting the ground running with constant messaging’ like your exes would be a massive turn off, as well as a red flag. Who has time for ‘constant messages’ from anyone, let alone someone they haven’t even met??

You are right, but I had to learn that the hard way. Just unsure of what is 'normal' now, so much info out there about OLD now, it's very confusing.

Agree! Why on earth are you messaging and not achually dating? Messages just keep the buzz doing between dates

Yes I’d hate messaging during the day as I do t have time for that at work and to be fair I don’t have time in the evenings either

My now h wasn't in my messaging style initially which was not demanding at all. He was a mix of being out of range at times in a rural area, a bit useless at what effort was needed and once something was arranged he didn't need to repeat it 😂. He didn't comprehend why people would mess about. He did need some guidance 😂 though as to how he could make people feel like plan B .