Husband shouting and slamming doors

[raisingstars]

Not sure if anyone would agree with my husband here but basically he works long hours a day and goes to bed late when he gets back from work and he loves his sleep.
I do the school run every morning, I have a 6 year old and a 7 month old, my husband sleeps in my sons room with the door shut but we have to go in sometimes to get things and uniform and stuff so he gets disturbed.
Our son could be quite lazy so I always have to nag and raise my voice at him to do things like put on the right shoe or be quicker at getting ready, so we was about to leave the door and my son put on the wrong shoe and I shouted at him to put on the right shoe and my husband screaming at us from upstairs saying “stop making F noise”and slammed his bedroom door really hard this is the second time this week he’s done this.
we can’t help it it’s always manic trying to leave for school in the morning.
I probably get less sleep than him but I guess it’s because I don’t work he thinks I have it easy

I think you need to make your husband sleep in a different room so he's just out of the way. He can wear earplugs if he doesn't want to be disturbed but shouting, slamming doors and swearing is ridiculous behaviour from a grown man.

@NewtonsCradle He already sleeps in a different room with the door closed but the house is quite small and you can hear everything downstairs so it doesn’t help, yes earplugs sounds like a good idea. I try my best to make minimal noise but sometimes I just don’t realise, I now feel like I’m walking on egg shells in my own house

You both need to work on this. If he is genuinely tired and sleep deprived, he will be cranky. Not making excuses for that but I can definitely relate. I could murder my ex when he turned a TV on in the morning to watch the news at full volume (he was hard of hearing). He needs to exercise some restraint.
But you maybe also could look at how your mornings could be made less stressful. Either or both of you could prepare clothes in the morning so you don't have to go into your son's room, for example. Also, I don't personally advocate for shouting at kids or calling them lazy. I've never known it to fix issues with organisation. Your son is clearly struggling with some things so why not look at where an activity is breaking down? Is he tired int he mornings? Is it difficult to find the right stuff for him to get ready? Does he need more time? Calmer environment? Fewer distractions?
Or maybe you are just a "shouty" family and that's how you all communicate. Nothing wrong with that but then the same standards of communication should apply to everyone. You can't habitually shout and then be upset that your husband does the same.

Agree with the previous poster. All things needed for the morning should be organised the night before and put downstairs. It needs to be explained to your ds that his dad cannot be disturbed because he needs to sleep so he can go to work and do his job properly.

After saying that H should not be shouting, swearing and slamming doors informant of his dc. He needs to apologies to his son and you!

Loves his sleep. Thats something you don't get with children. What time does he get up if working. What does he do for work to need to sleep is he a brain surgeon or a long distance lorry driver if not he has to put up with normal family life. That's ridiculous that he wants you to be quiet and abusive for shouting and swearing at you. How long have you put up with this. Why do you even have to asked if we agree with your husband of course he is in the wrong no one would say otherwise.

What are his working hours?.

What is he like on the weekend?.

Sleep and young children do not mix well. How did it come about he's commandeered your son's room to sleep in?.

What is your man like when he comes home?. Do you dread the sound of his key in the door?.

If you are walking on eggshells then your kids are also. What is this behaviour from their father doing to them?. What is he teaching them about relationships here?.

What do you want to teach your kids about relationship for that matter too?. What are they going to remember the most about their childhoods; yes dad kicking off seemingly all the bloody time!. If he cannot behave decently and or like someone other than an overtly entitled manchild then he needs to go.

Agree with the previous poster. All things needed for the morning should be organised the night before and put downstairs. It needs to be explained to your ds that his dad cannot be disturbed because he needs to sleep so he can go to work and do his job properly.
You are wrong.
Where does it say he needs sleep the OP says he likes his sleep. What do you think every other family does. You don't tip toe around frightened to wake someone up if you have children or not. That is very wrong.

You sound like a shouty and chaotic household all round. I feel sorry for your 6 year old being shouted at for putting the wrong shoe on and then having to listen to his dad shouting, swearing and slamming doors.

It’s not reasonable for your husband to be sleeping in his son’s room if he needs access to it in the mornings. The morning routine needs to be made much calmer there really is no need for it to be manic everyday.

he works long hours a day and goes to bed late when he gets back from work

Do you mean that when he comes home from work he is intentionally sitting up late before he goes to bed? Or does he go to bed as soon as is reasonably possible when he comes home late from his work?

He is a family man. Not getting enough sleep when children are young is part of the job description of being a parent. His behaviour is selfish and unreasonable

It sounds like a horrible atmosphere. I’m feeling more sorry for the poor 6 year old for being shouted at over his shoes.

You both need to stop shouting. Calm parents are generally good parents.

If it is necessary for you and him to sleep in different rooms, why don't you sleep in DS room and he have the adult bedroom?

But that is only if he genuinely has to stay up late, i.e. getting home very late, not if he is getting home at a 'normal' time after a long day then deliberately staying up late to have time to himself.

Also, earplugs may help.

You need to sit down and talk it through. It is not acceptable for you to be on eggshells in your own home.