Relationship ended after conflict over boundaries and reassurance – was I unreasonable?

[LostAlice]

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I’m struggling to make sense of how a relationship ended and what I should learn from it. (after 7 months)
I was in a relationship that recently broke down after a lot of emotional tension. From my side, I became increasingly anxious as communication reduced and I felt unsure where I stood.
He would break up with me frequently without a word - guess why i am upset today? game
Apparently I got a whats app message from some ex date, that showed on my laptop (seems weird, and all was archive and muted, so he must have gone and check them).
We had some issues before regarding this, I always told them I had a bf etc. and stopped replying, (No I did not block anyone.) Last time tho he was so cold and decisive about breaking up with me , I engaged (no plans for dates or anything). He behaves like a teen blond princes. we are no longer at that age, (both 44ys)

He broke up with you frequently without a word - he's a pig isn't he? Please give your brain a rest from thinking about the whys or wherefores of this situation - he's a pig. That's all you need to know and should be glad to be rid of him in all honesty.

Nailed it.

It's late (if you're in UK). Make yourself a hot drink and go to bed.

@Arlanymor is right. Give your brain a rest from thinking about him at any time of the day but especially when you should be sleeping so you will be refreshed tomorrow for another great day without that turd in your life.

If someone breaks up with you more than once, then don’t get back with them. That’s the lesson to be learnt from this.

he always finds a reason that it was something i did, (never discloses this mistery reason). i need to do mental exercise what that could possibly be. i get it that messages from former bf could be problematic, but i was always firm that i was in a relationship when texting back, or we were broken up and i vented. (which i understand could be a red flag)

@LostAlice - you sound very vulnerable. This man bullies and controls you by breaking up with you for mystery things you have done. And you keep letting him. It would be great if you could value yourself more. Drop the rope. Let him go. Don’t take him back. He’s toxic and bad for you.

Sounds like you were dating my ex. It's quite simple, OP. The relationship ended because he wanted it to end. What you should learn from it is not to abandon yourself for a man who can't or doesn't want to meet your needs.
And a bonus lesson: if someone is prepared to lose you, let them lose you. Regardless of whose fault it is, a "normal" adult person works towards repair not running away.

The reason he 'breaks up without a word' and then blames it you, is to 'train' you to behave exactly as he wants, all the time, for fear that he will do it again.

If someone breaks up with you without a word, you block and delete them immediately. Either you have done something truly heinous (in which case you will know what it is, and will block and delete the person for their own good); or they are controllers and abusers.

There is no point in further communication with this man. He sounds awful, and you sound vulnerable. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who keeps dumping you without a word, you need to cut him off completely. This is NOT something you can fix.

You've made the fatal mistake of thinking men mature as they age.

Many future relationships after marriage are usually shite.

Thank you