Moving on from ex guilt

[Boymum2256]

I was with him for a year we went through so much but was so toxic he was always lying and accusing me of stuff I’d never do so I realised my worth and that I gained nothing from the relationship we broke up 4 weeks ago but recently lost a baby at 17 weeks so stayed in contact.

I’ve hardly spoke to him and I’m planning on cutting him off after the baby’s service on Friday but he’s putting so much pressure on me to get back with him giving me all these false promises of taking me on dates and buying me stuff I’ve heard it all before and that wouldn’t determine whether I got back with someone or not. Now I feel like I’m at peace and I’m loving my own company I’m not stressed or anything anymore

i know it’s soon but I’ve been speaking to someone else over the last week and we’ve really got on and had some amazing deep conversations about life I’ve felt a comfort from this person and we went on a coffee date yesterday he kissed me goodbye but I can’t help but feel so guilty and like I’ve cheated on my ex and now I have to keep this from him if we got back together.

its such a fucked up situation because I love my ex and regret seeing someone else and he’s so clueless about it I feel like my only option now would to cut him off completely so I don’t have to face the fact of hiding what I’ve done (even tho I’m single)

if your ex is bad news he is not going to change.
having lost a baby myself I know the next few months/years are going to be some of the toughest you’ll face.
stay single and seek some support from sands charity and learn how to navigate your loss and grief.
dont jump into another relationship, if the new man is good for you he will understand and be your friend which is what you need.
im sorry you lost your baby, be kind to yourself and put yourself first ❤️

You have to cut your ex off completely regardless. And the new chap too while you are at it.
You are not in a position to date right now. You've just experienced two losses in a short period of time. You need time to process and grieve. You don't love your ex, your brain is just chemically addicted to bonding hormones. This needs a period of "detox" if you like. I'd say minimum 6 months.
The new guy also isn't what he seems. He is a painkiller. That's all. And a dangerous one. If you are getting into "deep conversations" on or before the first date, it's a major red flag. You are heading head first into another toxic relationship.

Take a time out.

I agree with what you’ve said I was like this with my ex before this one I think it’s my way of coping to find someone new right away but I know that’s not the way to be and your right I need time to detox and sit with my emotions I just like to avoid them completely but I’ve learnt that isn’t healthy

It doesn't sound like you're in any way ready to start dating again. Take some time to be by yourself, don't let your ex worm his way back and don't get involved with someone else right now. You need to grieve and get strong on your own again. I'm so sorry for your loss 💐