I (50ish F) lost my husband of 20+ years very suddenly a few years back. I can't describe how awful it was, missing the only person I'd ever known, trying to hold everything together emotionally, juggling all the death admin. No kids but lived together almost all of our relationship, shared property, etc.
There was a wonderful man who was a friend of my partner who helped me a lot with some practicalities. We didn't know each other well before, but my husband liked and respected him. About 9-10 months later we acknowledged some feelings and very gradually started dating.
It's now about 5 years on and we are in a good place together. We have found ways to honour my husband/his friend but live alongside the loss. We live apart together- and that works well for us.
The challenge has been the range of reactions. Some people embraced us ('life is for living') whilst others despised us, started awful and untrue rumours about an affair ('it's morally wrong'). Some still hold to this view- years on. I wonder if that will ever end?
I suppose I am curious what the general split of views is. And if there is a time span that would ever have been ok? For those who feel it was/is wrong. I don't think there's anything more we can do to help the angry/upset people see it differently (but open to suggestions!)