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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need a rant

9 replies

Mychocolatenotyours · 20/01/2026 14:39

Sorry but I need to rant....

Run my own business as does my husband. I bring in substantially more than he does and I'm constantly making sure we've got enough for this, that and whatever.

What is driving me round the bend is that most days once kids are at school he works for about an hour then goes back to bed for 2, sometimes 3 hours. While I'm working away, making sure everything is done.

I tried speaking with him about it a few years ago and we had a horrible argument and it improved for a little bit and now he's back doing it again.

Really getting to the end of my tether - one shoulder is mel Robbins shouting "let him" and the other shoulder "kick him up and tell him to get a grip!"

Advice? Am I being stupid? Should I leave it be or try and sort it out?

I'm so mad!!

OP posts:
ThatZippyFinch · 20/01/2026 14:43

How much is he earning to work such paltry hours? How much more percentage do you bring to the table?

Either way - he sounds either ill or lazy

ThatZippyFinch · 20/01/2026 14:43

and we had a horrible argument. About what?

INX · 20/01/2026 14:46

ThatZippyFinch · 20/01/2026 14:43

and we had a horrible argument. About what?

Who was going to win the Oxford v Cambridge boat race maybe?

Or it'll have been a horrible argument about him being lazy and the OP doing almost everything I expect...

ThatZippyFinch · 20/01/2026 14:48

INX · 20/01/2026 14:46

Who was going to win the Oxford v Cambridge boat race maybe?

Or it'll have been a horrible argument about him being lazy and the OP doing almost everything I expect...

Yes but my point is… what on earth could he say back??

PardonMe3 · 20/01/2026 15:06

If he needs to nap for 2 or 3 hours a day he needs to see a doctor. While he's napping and opting out of family life you are left picking up the pieces. It's unfair and bound to cause resentment. When do you get 2/3 hours down time in a day?

ThatZippyFinch · 20/01/2026 15:08

This reply has been deleted

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Endofyear · 20/01/2026 16:44

Is he staying up half the night? If not, he shouldn't need to sleep in the day. Get him to the GP for a check up - it could be low iron, underactive thyroid, diabetes, any number of reasons. Before you get cross, you need to rule out a medical cause for his tiredness.

Catza · 20/01/2026 18:27

Does he make up the time later in a day? If he then finishes 2-3h later than you then I don't see a problem. My ex used to criticise me for sleeping later in the morning but I work better after 9pm whereas he was asleep in front of the telly by six o'clock.

junebirthdaygirl · 20/01/2026 20:28

Does he have sleep apnea so getting a bad night's sleep? Is he depressed?

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