I was with my ex since i was 16. Then at 21 he left me in a difficult situation. I wont go into the details but he could have helped me when i was in a seriously bad situation, but didnt. I eventually broke up with him a year later as I couldnt get over it. I then found a new partner but he ended up being abusive.
Whilst i was still living with my abusive ex, my first ex kept begging me for years to forgive him etc. I eventually gave in after I broke up with my abuser. However, I still had to live with my abuser at the time due to having to sell the house. I was with my first ex for about a year then, very happily, though not officially in a relationship. He acted like he worshipped me, said he loved me more than anything else in the world. Wouldnt shut up about it in fact! Then, he said he felt he needed space to be a better partner to me so we can get married. He said he wasnt over the original breakup. I accepted this. He became more distant, and I kept asking him if anything was wrong. He eventually admitted he was seeing someone else, but that its just sex, and he still loved me and wants to support me (because i struggling to get my abuser to leave the home). He said we can meet up to talk. Again I accepted this, and wanted to be respectful of his space.
But instead he just ghosted me, even though he knew at the time i was in a dangerous situation, and also just lost a parent. As sad as it is, he was my best friend too, since we were 10 years old, but he blocked me so i couldnt call him to talk about losing my parent etc. It was very confusing for me, because it was quite out of the blue. This happened when i was 27, im 29 now. I took this very very hard at the time. But eventually I got over it, and I was kind of looking forward to the future. I accepted I won't get an explanation. I was hardly thinking of him - until yesterday.
Yesterday I found out he got engaged after 8 months to this person he started seeing. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I just dont understand how he could do that? I feel so betrayed somehow. I'm also confused about why I am so upset, and feel like i'm back to square one, which is scaring me!! Its been so hard for me to move on without any accountability or explanation on his part, and it feels like that has been reopened somehow.
I am sorry if the above isn't making sense - I am feeling a bit wobbly at the moment. I don't know if anyone has any words of wisdom to cheer me up!