How do you end a friendship?

[fairmaidofutopia]

I’ve name changed for this.

for the last 5 years I’ve been involved in a hobby that takes up a fair amount of time. My kids are now adults and I’ve been able to restart something I did as a young person. I joined a local group and met a woman, let’s call her Lucy.

lucy is a bit younger than I am and has been doing this hobby for a long time, she kind of took me under her wing. I enjoyed her company and spent some time with her away from the group. What became clear quite early on is that she has a drink problem. She can be really mean and completely out of order when she’s been drinking.

initially I saw this and tried to talk to her about it, she had not been horrible to me at that time. As is common with alcoholics she dismissed my comments, and said she doesn’t have a problem. I’m sober, and have been for more than 15 years.

last February she went for me whilst drunk. She was really nasty. I forgave her. She did it again in July when pissed out of her head in the local town and (for various reasons) I ended up going to ‘rescue’ her at 1am when she was very drunk. In response i got a load of verbal abuse.

I’ve stepped back massively from the friendship and I’ve told her why, but of course we are still involved in the same group. She tells me I am unkind and judgemental , but I just don’t want this shit in my life.

WWYD?

I’d be pleasant to her at the hobby but I’d block her on everything so you can’t be made the object of her drunken attacks. I’m guessing she’s gone through half in the group in this way. You won’t be the only one.

Be courteous when she is present, but don't engage with her other than a polite greeting and goodbye. She will be aware that her drinking is out of control and it sounds as if she is at the denial stage.
I've said this on here before, I am a recovering alcoholic, sober for many years, and I am thankful for every day I live in sobriety. One day, she will hopefully realise that alcohol is not her life enhancing friend.