Do they care or am I being paranoid?

[Pollyp11]

So I have a friendship group and we’ve been friends for 10 years plus.
I’ve always felt like the odd one out but whenever anyone needed me or going through a rough time etc I’ve always been there and made sure I took the time to check in. One of them I was very close to , we spoke everyday , did loads of stuff together and when she was having a rough time I was always there.

I’m now going through a rough time - really bad anxiety and struggling mentally with a lot of stuff going on. I’ve told the group numerous times how I’ve been feeling, opening up in the hope I get some support. Instead no one’s checked in on me - not even my ‘best’ mate. No one’s offered to go for a chat or even a message just checking in. I have to mention something for someone to say ‘hope you’re ok’ and that’s it - no further effort from that point. Yet if someone else brings up an issue everyone checks in with them everyday and makes a fuss.

I tried to open up again today saying about my anxiety and how it makes me feel and it feels all I get is annoyance. Im so upset but my anxiety is making me doubt myself and think I’m overreacting.

i have no idea how to handle this situation - I know that if I bring it up and cause an issue I’ll just be forgotten about. I need some advice please

This isn’t a close friendship group. Or at least they don’t regard you as being remotely a close friend.

And as for I’ve always felt like the odd one out

Find a group of friends that haven’t made you feel like this for a decade

One way to deal with it is to ask people exactly what you want them to do rather than just tell them how you feel. For example, rather than saying "I am having a hard time" and expecting someone to ask you out on a coffee date, you just message "anyone up for a coffee tomorrow"... or even "I am feeling a bit shit and could use a chat. Anyone free?". You see where I am going with it?
I have a friend who is in a habit of dumping and running. And I love her dearly but I'm not sure what she wants me to do with this information. I started to actually ask her, what do you want right now - to vent, some practical support or advice? But really, this should not be emotional labour I am doing for someone on a regular basis. She should, ideally, be telling me what she needs from me.

What did your friend respond?

I regularly do this but it’s got to the point that all I want is just for someone to check in . Surely I shouldn’t have to ask my friends to care?
I know as a friend that if someone tells me they’re having a hard time I will always check in with them out of concern . Or am I wrong?

@Pollyp11 i don’t check in on people I’m not bothered about.

"To vent!"

You can’t force people to care about you.

It seems like you regard them as close friends but they don’t feel the same about you. Hence not being personally concerned about you.

Speak to other people in your life. Don’t message the group any more expecting something they have never offered and never will.