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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lying about being separated

28 replies

ClaudiaAndHerFringe · 17/01/2026 12:36

I've been seeing a man who says he's separated. Since then I've discovered he had a weekend away with his wife and I've seen pictures of them, individually, both wearing wedding rings.

The weekend he told me was a boys' trip and by the next time I saw him I knew the truth. I asked him about it and he made up a story about what they did. Mentioned a bar they went to and said I could look it up if I wanted. It was interesting watching his face when he talked about it.

I've not told him I know, I last saw him on Thursday. I've not contacted him since and have no intention of so doing.

I just feel very sad and annoyed at being told a pack of lies. How would you suggest I handle this? I don't want to carry on obviously, but I feel a total mug.

OP posts:
rwalker · 17/01/2026 22:44

I’d go for self preservation
you never know what’s going on at home she may even know or not want to know

the problem with getting involved is it could have repercussions for you and backfire

message him saying you’ve discovered he got a wife so it’s done
leave me alone or I’ll introduce myself yo your wife

then block

ClaudiaAndHerFringe · 18/01/2026 10:40

TwistedWonder · 17/01/2026 20:04

I met a man on OLD who told me he was widowed. I find out his wife was still alive and terminally ill in a hospice - and he’s out lining up his next shag before she’s even passed away.

Christ on a bike. I suppose at least he's organised .....

OP posts:
S0j0urn4r · 18/01/2026 21:37

TwistedWonder · 17/01/2026 20:04

I met a man on OLD who told me he was widowed. I find out his wife was still alive and terminally ill in a hospice - and he’s out lining up his next shag before she’s even passed away.

Me, too. God, men are c*nts.

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