Fantasy affair

[Sliverofdarkness]

We've been getting some work done on our house lately, heating system, general maintenance, garden etc. Our marriage is stable and boring, not a whole lot going on in the bedroom but we love each other and have young kids. Lately however whenever I've had to let a workman/ plumber/etc in, I can't stop thinking about seducing them. Or inviting them up to the bedroom. Wondering what it would be like and if I'd get away with it. Today I had a guy in and I'm pretty sure he was flirting with me, he mentioned he lived alone while I was chatting to him about heating systems and boilers. Last week I was chatting to the milkman and could hardly get him to go. Was talking to a painter a couple of months ago about the mouldy bathroom ceiling and next thing he's told me he's single and divorced and seemed to be flirting with me. I'm nothing much to look at, mid 40s greying, slim but frumpy, so I'd probably be laughed at. Has anyone ever actually done it? I swear I think these guys are flirting with me but maybe it's all in my head. I can't imagine I'd ever act on these thoughts. Am I going mad and imagining all this?!!

we love each other

It certainly doesn't sound as though you love your H. You made vows to him didn't you? Perhaps you should invest a bit more in your marriage rather than looking for validation from other men.

It reads like the opening of a70s porn film script
Painter
Plumber
Milkman
😁

As long as you KEEP this as a fantasy and don't act on it.

Provided this isn’t a wind-up post (because the milkman bit sounds a bit off tbh), I’d say I agree with OP, I’ve definitely had fantasies like this. Monogamy is hard and not just for men, but as a woman it’s like a taboo to even suggest wanting intimacy outside of the marriage. I often imagine what it would be like to have a moment with someone else…sometimes I even fantasise about other women - so I’m probably bi but have never been with a woman… oops too much information, but yes, it happens. Not proud about it, but it happens.

Mid-40’s…it sounds like you’re peri-menopausal and entering the sex surge of menopause (happened to me at 45). Hormone changes will make you feel like this. Just be careful you don’t act on it (unless with your husband).

Watch series 3 of motherland. Sounds like you’ve got a touch of the Garys 😁

Have I ? Yes
Did I act on it ? Yes
Did it end my marriage? Eventually
Did I regret it ? No but totally regret the hurt it caused others

I have to admit, the mouldy bathroom ceiling talk did crush the vibes a bit. Maybe go with a general ‘pipe work issue’ op, lots of room for innuendo and less icky!

Jokes aside, this isn’t great, it real. You’re giving it altogether too much headspace, first with the initial fantasising about every poor bloke who darkens your door but also with coming here to write about it as well. Focus on your marriage, make a bit of effort there I’d say. If that improves and this is still an issue, if you feel maybe it’s necessary, get counselling if you can’t get a handle on this seemingly growing need for attention from any and all men before you actually DO start acting on it, figure out what’s going on.

This was my first thought too 😂😂😂

Who has a milkman these days lol OP if you’re feeling like this then there is something wrong with your marriage. Try directing your fantasies at your DH instead

I haven't done anything or acted on this. He's not always there, or is out with his friends.

Could you tell you have a fantasy of seducing a workman and going for roleplay ? You dress up sexy , he goes out the door but comes back in with his bag of tools and you tell him the electrics are dodgy or the boiler needs servicing . Chat for a bit offer him a coffee etc . It might float both your boats !😉

Move to Craggy Island and order your milk from Pat Mustard?

You still have a milkman?

That should read tell your Dh !

I'm not saying you have done anything or acted on it.
But it doesnt't sound as though you are very invested in your spouse or your marriage.
And your comment here makes it look as though your feelings for your H are in the "out of sight, out of mind" category.

Sounds like classic bored married life.

Yep 😂
I felt like this constantly so knew I had to get out of the relationship. Now I’m free to actually do stuff like that and I feel fulfilled.

Sounds like the confessions films 😆 🤣 😂