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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I really need to know if I'm over reacting

9 replies

Weddingtobe · 16/01/2026 21:01

I'm due to get married to my partner this year , at the moment it's alot of stressful wedding planning, looking after kids, keeping house okay, health problems so I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or justified in how I feel.
I had a school mum friend who I was close to for a while but she changed (drinking alot, recreational drugs, wasn't really putting kids first) and my partner said he didn't realy want me hanging with her which I agreed I didn't want to involve myself with them dramas, i still respected her and spoke to her i just couldnt hang around that while kids need me functioning and present. then not long ago he was at pub (goes once a fortnight) it was quiet so he said was coming home but then she turned up alone, then her friend came and friends boyfriend, thay then all spent evening together going from pub to pub, in my head is was like people would see that as I double date ( that most defo is overreaction I know) but I feel like no respect was given to me and neither of them said what they were doing until next morning he told me like it was nothing.
I've been so pissed about in but not sure if it's just the stress of lot if things all at once so close together.
How would you feel

OP posts:
Newname29 · 16/01/2026 21:07

Well it's a bit hypocritical of him to tell you to stay away from her and then he goes on a pub crawl with her!

Arlanymor · 16/01/2026 21:09

I’d feel he was a massive hypocrite.

WryNecked · 16/01/2026 21:14

I think describing it as a ‘double date’ just because this pub crawl involved two men and two women is a bit mad, but yes, agree with pps that if she’s not fit for you to associate with, then I don’t see why she’s fit for him to. But it doesn’t sound like a particularly functional relationship?

RealEagle · 16/01/2026 21:48

You can’t hang out with her,but he can go on a pub crawl with her FGS what a hypocrite.

MsDogLady · 16/01/2026 23:57

…and neither of them said what they were doing until the next morning.

Wow, @Weddingtobe, double standards are at play. You are not overreacting.

How does he explain going out on the town with her after asking you not to?? He must have gained some major validation from their dynamic that motivated him to cross that boundary. It’s telling that neither of them mentioned being out together all evening until the next day. This sounds dodgy and I would be investigating his phone.

I assume that he will be fine with you going out with her from now on if you want to?

TheThingOnTheIce · 17/01/2026 06:09

Newname29 · 16/01/2026 21:07

Well it's a bit hypocritical of him to tell you to stay away from her and then he goes on a pub crawl with her!

This

smallsilvercloud · 17/01/2026 07:35

Yep double date vibes or perhaps it was just them two, it’s suspicious that he no longer wanted you to hang around with her but it fine for him.

MapleOakPine · 17/01/2026 07:37

Is it that he only wanted you not to hang out with her when the kids were there too? Or did he also think the two of you (you and her) shouldn't hang out together? The former makes him less of a hypocrite than the latter.

RunningJo · 17/01/2026 07:50

Not a double date I don’t think, but massive double standards!
What has he said about her being there?

I’d wait a week or two and tell him you’ve arranged a night out with her. .

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