Men who just BLOODY TALK AT YOU

[BarilynBordeaux]

Dealing with one of these at the moment. The thing is, he’s a genuinely lovely man who is kind and thoughtful with his actions (think gifts and outings) but never asks me a fucking thing about myself and just rambles on. Feel like a bloody emotional support dog.

How do you deal with this?

We have one of there where I am two mornings a week. Non stop monologue, mouth constantly moving. No natural rhythm of conversation, it's all him talking.

Something odd happened once. Then I realised - it was silence. I glanced at the clock and timed it. Two minutes before he started talking again. Two minutes' silence in three whole hours.

It doesnt help that he finds himself a great wit and laughs at his own comments most of the time. He must speak six hundred words for every one that others speak.

‘Something odd happened once. Then I realised - it was silence’

its like they can’t stop themselves!

This one also feels the need to fill in silence like he’s fucking allergic to it.

It really makes the time there a lot less enjoyable. Other conversations cant really take place in this constant stream of sound punctuated three a minute by his own loud laughter.

Or you have the other spectrum. I went on a date with a guy who was witty on text. When we met up he couldn’t hold a conversation and it was one word answers. I asked him
a question, he answered in a few words. I asked another and it repeated. So I stopped to see him he would ask. Nope we sat in silence for 7 minutes.

i politely left thinking this has not gone well. He texted to say he had a great time and wanted to meet again !

"How do you deal with this?"
You get up an walk away.
If he's too insensitive to realise that his verbal diarrhea is tedious nothing other than walking away is going to work.

"I fancy him so much I kind of overlook how annoyed I am when we’re together. Then later I walk away feeling pissed off!"
When you stop fancying him, as you surely will, all you'll be left with is feeling pissed off. Cut out the middle man, walk away now and you'll never have to waste any time thinking how much time you wasted on the clown.

Sounds like Chatfishing, where they use Chat gpt to seem funny and erudite then in real life have the personality of 1% milk.

The thing is, there is a social contract that no one talks about - if you meet someone 1 on 1 (whether date, friend or colleague) then each of you should get to do one-third of the talking - the remaining third is up for grabs. If you routinely find that you get less than your third then you will end up getting cross (or sad).

It's one of the things that has put me off a few friends. The feeling that whenever I speak they are DYING to jump in and talk over me.

Listen to Miley Cyrus I can buy myself flowers. Why do you date someone you don’t like? Gifts and trips do not a relationship make.

I recently declined to go on a date with one like this OP. We chatted over the course of a few days and he didn’t once ask me a meaningful question, or show an interest in things I told him. It’s so weird!

A lovely man wouldnt make you feel like an emotional support dog, I think that’s all there is to it tbh.

Omg this thread really hits home. Divorced 7.5 years. This is my experience of post divorce dating. All self- centred and witter on about themselved. Like another poster I have held back to see if they actually ask a question - rarely. Given up now. What is the actual point of dating if you sit in a pub listening to them. What happened to interesting conversation and listening to another persons opinions on a topic??
Single is peaceful.
My girlfriends and I ask questions about events in our life.
It's quite a sad penomenon. No wonder older women are happier than men.

I know someone like this. You do feel ‘talked at’. It’s exhausting!
Beware an attractive man like this. Even with a gag 😉 they tend to be pretty selfish in bed. Let’s face it, he knows nothing about you. He doesn’t know your preferences because he hasn’t asked you even the basics about yourself.
I’d suggest reading up on love bombing if you feel like his gifts show a positive message.