Is he interested in me?

[caraB42]

I’ve met a guy twice, both times in intimate and private settings only as work colleagues.

The second time we met he kept touching my arm, and as I went to leave he stroked / rubbed my back for a little while? He also puts xx in his messages to me sometimes.
Does this mean he is interested in me?

I have been out of the dating game a while after a messy divorce, which zapped all
of my self confidence, so apologies if this comes across as a stupid question

Touching doesn't necessarily mean he's interested. Someone I work with frequently touched me and I thought he had romantic intentions. When I made a move he explained that as my physio he needed to touch me as part of my recovery. I'm not saying your person isn't interested but be careful you don't misread things.

When you say 'intimate and private settings' as work colleagues, how do you mean?

Nobody is 'intimate' with a work colleague. They just might happen to meet in a room where they are the only occupants.

If you fancy him you need to find out if he's single. Then if so ask him for a coffee/lunch or drink after work. You could invite a couple of others to the work drinks if it makes you feel less awkward. But nothing wrong with expressing an interest.

It doesn't mean he does definitely like you or want to date you. So be prepared to just be friendly and professional if he does decline.

Where do you work that someone you met only twice is holding your hand and rubbing your back? This seems hugely inappropriate. And why is he texting you? Where did he get your number?

Yes he likes you. Make your feelings known if you like him too.

Id say yes he likes you. I'd also say he's a creepy little twerp if he's touching up his work colleague after only meeting her twice.

Have you met online on TEAMS call etc and only in actual person twice? If so, he may be building a connection. If you’ve only literally met twice then that’s scary.

I would say this too. Some people are more tactile than others - but rubbing your back? Without asking or saying anything to give context is really weird.

Like others I don’t understand how he’s a work colleague and you’re meeting him in intimate settings? Do you mean a bar for after work drinks? Just the two of you? Or what exactly?

Kisses on a text or email are used in non-romantic contexts and with work colleagues - I see it all the time - so I wouldn’t put any inference on that part.

I mean what's the context? Why are ýou meeting a work colleague twice in intimate settings?
did he ask you out? Was it to discuss work? We need a bit more detail.

To be honest it sounds a little creepy.
Especially if you are not giving him any reason to think its appropriate to be rubbing your back (eg: flirting). Which it doesnt sound like you are if your self esteem is low.

Be aware, just because you fancy someone, it doesn't excuse them being inappropriate. And if your self esteem isn't solid then it's not a good time to be dating. Work on that first. And no more private meetings with this colleague in the mean time.

I think he's keen to shag you. Wouldn't necessarily saying he wants anything more than that.

If you met up as work colleagues and he is touching you in the way you describe then he is being totally inappropriate. Whether he likes you or not is immaterial: he shouldn't just start touching up his colleagues.

Tbh it sounds more as though he sees you as someone who he can take advantage of, especially if you allowed him to do this without challenge.