Husband not wanting to sort out financial order regarding divorce

[Shs726]

I am seeking a divorce and a legally binding clean break.

We married 4 years ago and have no children. During the marriage we kept our finances largely separate. We had no joint accounts.

My husband owned the matrimonial home prior to the marriage, which we lived in. I own a separate property purchased around 10 years ago, which has been rented out for the last 8 years.

Throughout the marriage, we contributed equally to household bills, excluding the mortgage on his property, which he paid. In return, I covered all holidays and most outings. I also paid for half of the furniture in the home. (Of which I don’t want anything for and he can keep).

My husband earns approximately £90,000 per year. I earn approximately £125,000 per year. I have higher savings, some of which pre-date the marriage. Our pensions are of similar value.

I am seeking divorce due to emotional and verbal abuse. My husband repeatedly told me to leave the home, stating it was “his house,” and then weeks later beg me to return. He would throw my stuff outside and lock me out. Along with the other abuse that comes with. This cycle continued for over two years until I finally separated from him.

We are now separated and have minimal contact. We verbally agreed that neither of us wishes to make any financial claim against the other.

However, my husband told me he will not be signing a clean break consent order, stating that his “word should be enough” and that he does not want to involve solicitors or incur costs. I have offered to pay the court fee, cover the cost of the consent order, and even pay for his independent legal advice if required.

I am concerned that without a clean break order, he could make a financial claim against me in the future. I would prefer to resolve all financial matters now, even if that meant paying him something deemed fair by the court.

He is pressuring me to proceed with an online divorce only, without a financial order, and to complete the divorce as quickly as possible.
I would like advice on whether a clean break will significantly delay the divorce and why he may be refusing to formalise an agreement we have both verbally accepted.

If he were a woman, her lawyer would go after yours savings, which partly accrued from renting out your house. Which you were able to do by living in his...

I was renting out the property 4 years before getting married.

But anyway, I have no issue in paying him whatever needs to be paid. He’s free to go for whatever and I’ll happily pay what the courts decide. I just want to resolve everything now.

Perhaps he means it and he just doesn't want the hassle of getting the court involved? Do you have reasons to suspect he doesn’t?

He's a fool for not wanting to get finances and a clean break sorted out. It should be relatively straightforward from what you've said your circumstances are - you both had decent assets before marriage, both kept your own property, no dependents needs to consider, etc. your agreed division of marital assets seems reasonable, do yes, it's a complete mystery why he wouldn't want it sorting properly now.

Only possible caveat I can see is that it's not just the 4 years you were married that counts, they look at your entire relationship, likely back to when you first started cohabiting. Although that doesn't sound like it'll make any real difference to a fair division of assets in your case.

Just tell him you're 100% going to get a clean break sorted out now, so if he doesn't want to incur costs he should go along with it. The alternative is you have to take him to court to resolve it, so that will certainly incur higher legal fees than if he cooperates.

We never lived together until after we got married.

“my husband told me he will not be signing a clean break consent order, stating that his “word should be enough” and that he does not want to involve solicitors or incur costs”

So give him the choice - either he signs a clean break order, or you take him to court. He can’t just decide that he doesn’t want to sign documentation - you both need to be able to move on with your lives.

You need an order otherwise he could come back and claim half of what you’ve got years into the future. If he won’t sign a consent order then you have to apply to court and go through the process for the court to make a binding order. He doesn’t have a choice about that.

I’m wondering if the issues is less about practical and financial matters, and more about maintaining control over you?

Agree. It sounds a lot like my situation many years ago. Lawyer then told me that if it got to court it would only be because one of us was being unreasonable.

My gut instincts are telling me it’s this as his reasons for not wanting one such as fees and extra time make no sense when I’ve offered to pay and we have already verbally agreed on finances.

He also did say he won’t sign it and what will I do about it. I said I’ll leave it to my solicitor to take next steps. He replied that he will never sign it and if it takes months and more legal fees he doesn’t care. (Which contradicts his reasoning for not wanting to sign one in the first place).

If you don’t mind me asking, did it get to court? And if so, what happened?

Of course your finances will be at risk later down the line if there is no financial clean break order but ultimately so will his. Tell him that you would still be entitled to any financial benefits he has such as inheritance or even a lottery win!

No it didn't get to court. He tried to bully me and I did something unexpected. His lawyer's letter was full of 'mis-truths' (the lawyer prob believed him). I took a red pen to it, wrote my replies refuting all his claims, in the margins (along with a few questions of my own) and on the back of pages, then hand delivered it to the lawyer's office.

Suddenly the lawyer recommended he settle and give me what I wanted (1/2 of our combined assets).
I'm not recommending you do this BTW.

He can refuse to engage or sign anything. You can ask for meditation. It sounds as if it would be futile given his position, but it allows you to show the court you've attempted to negotiate with him.

Then you pursue through court. And if he still refuses to engage or sign anything, the judge can impose a clean break order even if your Ex doesn't agree.

Do not get divorced without a clean break order, as otherwise he could come after your assets years later. Wyatt v Vince is a good example of this. News link about the case, and solicitor link which covers the legal view on it.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-36499818.amp

www.goughs.co.uk/news/wyatt-v-vince-the-result-and-the-lesson/

This.
100%

As others have said OP, he doesn’t get to decide this. As your marriage would be considered ‘short’ as it’s under 5 years then you’d likely just get to walk away with what you entered the marriage with as there are no children. Please do yourself a favour and pay for a 1 hr appointment with a solicitor to get their advice and press on with this. Do not sign any divorce paperwork until the finances are sorted. You cannot stay financially tied to someone because of a ‘verbal’ agreement.

"His word should be enough"... don't trust anything!! He just wants to continue his abuse from afar with control and by still being financially tied, he has a reason to contact you in the future.

Absolutely pursue the Consent Order for your own financial and mental peace.

My solicitor was insistent on a Consent Order due to the future implications of still having that future financial link.

My ex husband was not happy about it or having to instruct a solicitor. I told him that if he didn't want to instruct a solicitor that was his choice but I'd still be going ahead with a consent order.... l make my own decisions and what's best for me - he had no control over me anymore. It was actually very liberating standing up to him at last!

I divorced before recent law changes but I was able to file at court to force exH to reach a financial agreement with full disclosure on both sides, as he simply didn't act and we couldn't conclude the process without it. Have a look at the current process and see whats possible.

You are correct. He can come back at any future point for a settlement. Happened to a friend of mine.

Press ahead with solicitors regardless of his position. You go to a solicitor with the facts, instruct to send a clean break order to him that you both walk away with what you have (you will need to detail it out; hopefully you have access to his financial information), then when he ignores the letter, offer mediation, which he will ignore, then apply to court for the financial order (which he will ignore). It’s a long game you’ve got to play OP, but keep pressing ahead and ignore what he says, the court are aware of chancers like this. If he ignores the process, they will make a decision in his absence eventually. Good luck.

You need to apply to court, you can do it yourself and it’ll cost £300 roughly. That will lead to an FDR hearing where you will both be asked submit FormE in advance of hearing. If he doesn’t do it he can be forced to by court with an Unless Order. If he still doesn’t, he’ll be in contempt, a court will go off the info they have off you & it limits his ability to make financial claims. Just crack on with it. Judges don’t look fondly on people that don’t mediate or abide court procedure. My DP is going through it now as she refuses to do financial disclosure or actively take part in getting the final consent order as it’s a form of control & abuse to stop him moving on with his life.

Thank you for getting back.

Yes, I do have a solicitor and spoke to her.

she was baffled as why he doesn’t want to sign especially given we both have agreed verbally on finances and it’s a straight forward case otherwise.

She also advised what pretty much other posters have said. Will have to go through mediation then possibly court and it’s going to cost thousands more that way. Was also told could put a matrimonial order thing on his place as that was our marital home.

However, I don’t wish to do that and just want a divorce plus cut ties financially via consent order/clean break.