Fiancé replying to female instagram story

[Mummymember]

so my fiance and I are due to get married in 4 months, we have a really happy relationship have been together 6 years and have two children together ( 3 year old and 10 month old).

when my youngest was 7 months old he booked as a trip away for a night in paris as we were struggling to have time together alone. Whilst at the airport a female was getting on same flight as us, she said hello to him and he looked really awkward and from his reaction i know instantly there was history there. I asked him why he looked so awkward and he was honest and said he had a one night stand with her in the past. I know of the female as we have mutual friends, i thought nothing of it and we had a lovely time on our trip.

so today (3 months later) he left his phone at home whilst he went to an appointment. I honestly dont know what came over me but i had the urge to go through it to only look for messages between him and this female. I dont know i have not been able to get this out of my head how awkward he was with her at the airport. I have NEVER in our whole relationship had this urge and i have been around girls he has slept with before me and not felt like this. I am insecure since having my baby and suffering with post natal depression and have been on medication, not that its an excuse to go through his phone which i know was wrong
Anyway i wish i hadnt, i have seen that the night we seen her in the airport she posted a photo on her instagram story in Paris where we were also in extremely revealing low cut top and he had liked it. He had liked 4 photos in total over the past 3 years of photos of her with a low cut tops on and she is by herself in all photos. One of them he liked 3 weeks after i had given birth to our first child which was really traumatic and it has really hurt me
i know they are only “likes” but its really upset me and i feel like its sneaky as the photos are on her story highlights you cant see publicly who liked it as when you reply to a story with a like its in your private messages. I have confronted him and it is really apologetic but i am SO hurt. I feel like its given her attention and trying to get her attention. Its going through my head that If she would have then made conversation with him would he have responded? I am so shocked at him and unsure how to move forward. I dont know if i am being extreme but its inappropriate and a betytral in my eyes and i feel so broken

Right so you think, what, she put up the details of her flight on Instagram for all of her followers to see and he decided to stalk her?

Or, he wanted his fiance to meet her so discussed with her in advance the date and time of her flight and booked the same one?

Can you not see how ridiculous your suggestion is?

Yes it's disrespectful and upsetting to see it on Instagram. Don't let it ruin your relationship though, men are 'liking' women all the time in the real world. Looking at a beautiful women on the street, at work, at the airport. It's just not there in black and white.

Are you taking the piss. As someone who was cheated on twice it's clear that he's cheating and he's out in the open about it now.

It's very clear people replying to you aren't young and don't understand that instagram is cheating. Go through who else he is talking to he might be hiding it, have a look through his saved posts too ?

Instagram is cheating?

Bloody hell! What next, sitting next to someone of the opposite sex on the tube is an invite for sex?

What on earth do you think he had planned then?

you think he knew she was going to Paris, so he booked to go with fiancée…..so he could look really awkward when they saw her in the airport?

Or do you think he planned to sneak out of his hotel room, quickly shag this other girl, then dash back to OP again?

I understand why you feel upset. It’s not a nice thought. However I don’t think that it means he was trying to cheat. If he was interested he would have followed it up with some chat. It was probably more about him than it was her. Wanting to feel desirable. After all she was a one night stand. If he was interested he would have pursued it but didn’t.

Tell him to block her and let it be the end of it. Don’t let it affect your self worth or relationship if it is good in all other areas. It was a stupid thing to do because it’s made you question his intentions but the reality is it’s a very few times across a long period.

I had a similar experience where I felt in my gut my DH was attracted to someone even though he hadn’t done anything ‘bad’ as such. To be honest I only managed to get over it when he got really insecure over something I did. I knew I had never wanted anyone else since meeting him so it felt ridiculous. But it made me very aware that something harmless can actually cause a lot of insecurity and upset. We got through it, I’m sure you will too.

Yes but this is a woman he had a sexual relationship with, not just some passing woman on the street. He knows her, has slept with her and has been following her on social media ever since. It also seems like quite the coincidence that she just happened to rock up in Paris at the same time as him.

Some odd paranoid fantasies on this thread - ignore them OP, you’re overreacting.

Why would he arrange to go on the same day as her if he's travelling with his soon to be wife? If he was travelling alone there might be a reason. And if it was deliberate surely she would have been primed to not recognise him. Also it would be very difficult to spend time with this other woman in Paris when he was on a romantic trip, he could hardly disappear for an evening or night.

I actually don't think he did plan it with her. I personally think he knew she was going to Paris and he planned this one night trip accordingly. All under the guise of being a loving and thoughtful husband. The OP says they and this woman have mutual friends, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch for him to know she was going there. Maybe he thought there might be a chance to hook up whilst there, maybe he was just hoping to bump into her. Who knows? He's obviously a man on heat and they do utterly ridiculous things. Believe me, I know.

You post is nothing but your own projection with a liberal helping of spite.

No, you really don’t know.

Your theory that this was pre-planned is absolutely bonkers.

So how did he know what day and flight she was going to be on?

And he was going to leave his fiance alone in Paris to discretely meet another woman? When he could do that in their hometown?

Just think carefully about what you’re suggesting and be realistic.

I am being realistic. My husband did a very similar thing, which is why I think it's a possibility. In my case the destination was Madeira. Quite by chance (!) someone he'd had an affair with was travelling there on the same flight. She'd ended the affair and I don't believe for one minute she was complicit in the arrangement but I subsequently discovered my DH had found out her travel arrangements. What he thought would actually happen when we got there is anyone's guess. Maybe he thought that seeing him in a more "exotic" location would make her fall back into his arms. Anyway, he sold the holiday to me as a "romantic" getaway. I must admit I was stunned when he suggested it because it wasn't his style. So you see, it really isn't that bonkers. I mean, stranger things have happened in this world. You'd be amazed at the lengths men will go to.

Ok, in that case, your posts make sense and I completely take back thinking that you were bonkers!

Though I still don’t think that’s what happened here - his reaction at seeing her on the plane was enough for OP to realise and that suggests it was unplanned.

Ask him how he would feel if the situation was reveresed and YOU bumped into your ex on the flight and then he found out you had decided to hunt down his instagram to like his shirtless pics?

He can't say it's nothing, he made a choice to pay her attention again.

Thanks. I admit my judgement is biased but you really would be quite surprised at the depths of deception men will sink to when sex is involved. Sadly.

But how do you know he’s hunted her down?If he still follows her on Instagram, her stories will come up automatically at the top and 4 likes in 3 years really isn’t that much.

What do you think happened in Paris between them?