I (F19) have been in a ldr with this guy (20M) for a year..after half a year he told me that he has a daughter..What would you do in this situation?

[ironyoftheworld]

I (F19) have been in a ldr with this guy (21) for a year. I loved him so much and I still do..after half a year he told me that he has a daughter and he apologised a million times after that. When I asked him why he didn't say anything abt this before, he said that he didn't want to be 'hated' by me, and that he loves me so much and didn't want to lose me. I was in shock for a while after I learned abt the truth. I asked about pictures of the kid etc.

He is not married, he still lives with his parents and only sees his daughter on weekends. I really didn't know what to do in this situation..I only knew that my feelings didn't change towards him so we continued talking for months after that...I never met the mother of his daughter, but I know that they don't have a healthy relationship. Not long ago, she told her that they needed to try again to be together for their daughters' sake. And now they are together. I know for a fact that I don't want to stay in the way if they can work it out cause they have a kid together..yet I can't get over this relationship, I'm so in love with him. What would you guys do in this situation?

In this situation....

i would break up with him and date one of the hundreds of thousands of men:

• that live within a 1 hour radius of you

• arent liars

• dont come with a load of emotional baggage

• dont come with the risk of you becoming an unpaid nanny

Sorry you're feeling hurt about it, but honestly, I'd be glad I dodged a bullet and look forward to having a more mature future relationship and life partnership with someone who is not this guy, because they are:

• responsible about contraception
• someone who will be a present and involved father to any kids
• not a liar
• more responsible and mature generally.

What does ldr mean?
I'd bin him off, save up and go travelling. The world is your oyster, he's an albatross and will turn into a bigger and uglier one.

You’re only 19! You won’t remember his name in 10 years time. It will be painful (temporarily!), but I’d block him on everything and move on.

I would run like the wind! Hiding a child for six months is psychotic behaviour!

Ahhh the old classic "I just love you so much, that's why I had to lie to you".

I was also 19 when I fell for that, and lost 13 years to that man, who, shockingly, never stopped lying 'to protect me'.

Thank your lucky stars that you've only wasted a few months and go find yourself someone who isn't a liar.

Move on. No good will come from this.

The moment I found out the guy I was dating hid a child from me for 6 months I would have walked away.

He's in a relationship with his daughter's mother. You don't know anything about their relationship except what he's told you - which may not be true.

If you haven't already, block him and get on with your life. You're young, you should be having fun, go out with friends, travel, have some adventures!

Block and move on, you are still young.

As someone 20 years older than you please hear this:
You're 19, the BEST years of your life are about to start. You should not waste them on this loser. Once your youth is over, it's gone, dont let him drag you down and waste your precious time, there are literally thousands of men that will want to date you and be a better option.

And I second the idea to save up and travel, it will be so much more fun than being messed around by this twat

You're too young to be thinking about getting with a man who already has a child but wasn't honest about it.

As others have said, live your life & enjoy your freedom rather than getting embroiled in something so complicated.

Even if he splits with the mother of his child, she will always be there & you won't feel wholly comfortable with him because of that.
Move on, put it down to experience & find someone who can be completely focused on you.

Have you even met? Or is this one of those ridiculous LD online relationships

Ha! My first thought exactly :)

Anyway OP as PPs have said. Lying all that time is never good. Def get rid!

I would welcome the opportunity to meet someone else and make a different life than the one that lies down this road.

You’re 19. Move on and move up to someone better.

My ex hid out children for a while from his now wife. We judge him for it because it is poor behaviour and shows he doesn’t have good character.

Just move on. He’s not a good man. Any guy who would disrespect his child in such a way WILL disrespect you too.
Not to mention the lying.
Yuk