dh has been away for 2 nights I've loved it, back tonight and screaming at each other within 45 mins, is this the beginning of the end

[peacelily]

I never usually post of relationship threads as I'm v private about this soty of stuff, but because i never alk to anyone about our probs in RL I have to tell someone.

Probs with me and dh for 2 years not agreeing on anything constant arguments etc. etc. Everyone comments on how relaxed the house is when he's not around.

Anyway the total desecration of the marriage "fairytale" has made me extremely hard faced, somewhat of a bitch probably. he's been an arse fro reasons I can't be bothered to go into. he's stormed off tonight and I'm glad. I love it being just me and dd. I think (and so do my friends) he still loves me and he gets hurt but I'm emotionless. he's been an UTTER wanker to me though since dd was born and I think my emotions have just switched off.

So gutted I used to love him so much and now I can't even be near him how do I sort this end it or counselling?

Is anyone about to chat? feel numb

Is anyone about to chat? feel numb

Is anyone about to chat? feel numb

Hi Peace - I too am very private about my relationship and we too have had similar problems. Apart from I am the one that goes away to work and come back having forgot about our previous arguements and with the hope of getting on - only for it to decend into arguements the day after.

I want to work at my marriage - as it sounds like you do too. The problem with mine is that counselling didnt work very well. (partner doesnt really like the process) But we both do want to work at it - so I guess thats something. Whatabout your partner? Does he acknowledge there is a problem? Is he willing to work at it?

Hmm well im a year apart from my xp whos relationship was similar.
The atmosphere without him in the house is LOVELY.
But I do wish to a certain extent that we had had counselling because you cant patch up a family, IYKWIM.
At least then I could look back and say I had tried everything.
Think by the time we would have went it would have been too late though.
How has he been a wanker?
Why cant you bear him near you?
2 days alone is very different to the reality of single parentness BTW, do realise that.
Thats not to say stay, but think heavily about it!

Hi Peacelily,

Sorry to hear you're having such a miserable time. You sound really sad.

I don't know that it's very fair or constructive to focus on what other people say about how relaxed your house is when DH isn't around. It's his home too after all and I guess it's the one place where we're all entitled to relax and be ourselves.

I obviously don't know your relationship history though.

Do contact Relate or some other marriage guidance service because it sounds like you've both been through a lot and a chasm has developed between you as a result of your experiences since the birth of your DD.

I really hope things get better for you.