Getting divorced, feel stuck about what come’s next

[ZenZazie]

So I’m getting divorced this year. Separated from STBXH at the end of 2024, no kids, it’s amicable, financially it’ll be a 50/50 split. As these things go, pretty smooth.

But now I feel a bit stuck as to what to do next? I think this has been spurred by doing some prep work to put the house on the market soon.

Once the house sells, I have no ties here. STBXH will relocate for work, my last close family member died about a year ago.

And I’m 50, will have enough money from the divorce be comfortable and enough energy to tackle something fresh. And I really want that.

But I’ve no idea what to do? I’ve thought about maybe when I ge a new house get one that’s a bit of a project. I’ve thought about moving somewhere else. I’ve thought about doing a degree part time or taking up music lessons.

But nothing is really lighting my fire as yet. I’m happy enough to drift for a bit, especially as the house might not sell right away. But not for two long?

So I’m wondering what other people have done in a similar. Would love to hear other people’s thoughts and experiences.

If you live down south would you consider moving to Northumberland up north or somewhere close ? Property prices are much cheaper which would leave you a bigger pot and it’s absolutely beautiful up there .!

I moved to the coast about 90 miles away from my old house. That way I can still maintain my friendships. I started two social hobbies and made a lot of new people that way. And because of that, I was unexpectedly offered to run a regular event in the local community which allows me to use some skills which were on the back burner for the last 10 years.
I also enjoy coastal life to the fullest with winter swimming, paddle boarding and motorcycle tracking at the local farm.
I also met someone a few months ago.
Life's pretty good right now.

Op this is so exciting, why don't you look at buying a log cabin or mobile home community gated, only ground charges to pay and cheaper to run, community all look after each other, down south i know the new forest has a big community, then lock it up and travel for a year, you can do 90 days in Europe then 90 day in Turkey, pop over to Asia, Thailand, honestly this could be your year op, op its so exciting, 😀

I would consider moving to Northumberland but that would mean moving South for me, I currently live in a small village in the Highlands.

I did work at Durham University for a while when I was younger and have considered moving back there at some point.

I’d try online dating … I met a lovely man I’ve now married who lived 140 miles away, meant it was an easy decision to move

That sounds pretty goo. I grew up by the sea and do missing seeing it everyday.

There’s a wee village about half an hour away from where I currently stay where some friends have an ice cream shop. It has a very pretty harbour and an annual festival that is always looking for volunteers.

That’s got me thinking a bit. Thank you.

I have always wanted to live in Rome for a while. Travelling a lot would be tricky due to various health conditions, but going to one place for several months or even a year so I had a stable base would be possible I think. If we were still in the EU I would do it without a second thought Looked into things and if I signed up for a language school as student visa would likely be a possibility, so a bit more complicated but still possible.

I did similar when I met STBXH. We moved around the country a bit together before arriving at the current village too.

Dating is something I want to do in the future but am not ready for yet. I think I want to spend time doing something just for me before I meet someone else.

Soon after the separation,
an existing friend stepped forward declaring feelings and whilst it was very flattering and I have always enjoyed their company I definitely didn’t feel the same way. It also really told me I was not ready for that.

At the moment there is someone I know vaguely from an online music based social group and we enjoy a bit of mutual flirting when we run into each other. They are in a similar situation. However I think we both enjoy it because there is no chance of us meeting in real life as they live across the Atlantic. So it’s a little safe flirting but actually I still need a bit of time before getting out there.