Struggling with flatness

[FreeRangeClassA6LargeEggs]

DP of 5 years: He's amazing. Literally the partner you want - kind, caring, doting, funny, unjudgmental, supportive, all the things, and for most of our relationship, when I see he's home or walking down the street, I'm so happy my heart skips.
But lately I've been so down😔 I feel flat in my heart. It's painful because I'd be lost without him. We have sex once a month as I don't want it. There are times when I think it'd be nice but I never act on it. I'm not looking after myself. He says it's not all about sex and that when we do have it, it makes it all the more special but I seem to have gone off it altogether.
Not sure if perimenopause/my PMDD.
How do I get the spark back? I'm intolerable right now.

Have you tried counselling? You don’t to risk your relationship for so many reasons so have a look for one that works for you

How old are you? Sounds very much like perimenopause. I found HRT brought me back to my old self.

Oh, I should have said, 46. 47 this year x

That flatness for no reason was when it dawned on me this was perimenopause.

Sounds like peri

Sounds very much like peri menopause OP, unless you have any other external reason for feeling flat or low in mood. Are you having any other physical symptoms as hrt can be prescribed for symptoms alone. Do have a chat with your GP as hrt could help you feel more like you again.

Couple other physical. Few extra pounds I can't seem to shift and hair has ruined out a little x

Life isn’t all about relationships. What’s your life like beyond your partner? Do you love your job? Do you have a sport or a hobby you do that you’re passionate about? Where have you always wanted to travel? Can you start putting plans in place for an adventure? Have you always wanted to learn Mandarin or run a marathon? Can you start working towards that? Life gets flat when we get stuck in a rut and just coast along. I’ve found it helps to set goals and plan things that make me happy and make things I do a bit more intentional rather than accidental.

That's an amazing outlook, thank you. I've been definitely stuck in a rut job wise as I've been in between jobs and discovering what it is that ignites that passion. I mentioned my relationship foremost as that seems to be what is suffering the most but perhaps when I put more work into myself (oxygen mask) the rest will follow ❤️