Slow responder

[Jokethecoalwoman]

Last week I had a very good night with a guy I'd been interested in for a while. We didn't DTD but lots of kissing, cuddling etc.
Since then we've messaged a couple of times, nice cute messages....but he takes hours/days to reply.

I'm probably massively overthinking things and I do have insecurities that I'm trying to work on but is slow responding normal? An indication of how he feels about me?

He is quite introverted and definitely not a "player" (I've known him for a while).

But because of my own insecurities I jump to conclusions that it's about me. Suddenly gone off me, etc.

Slow responding....any advice?

Since its early days, you don’t know his communication style. Some people are honestly dreadful at responding, they don’t spend much time on their phones so forget to get back to you or just don’t think it’s a big deal. Unless he was previously replying really quickly and has changed since you met, I wouldn’t say it’s a problem.

I think you need to be more specific about the response time - there’s a lot of difference between hours and days!

Hours is a non-issue IMO. We’ve all got lives and things to do and not everyone is into quick responses.

Sometimes it being 12-24 hours wouldn’t bother me. Though for me personally I’d expect 24hrs to be infrequent and ideally they’d say they’d been busy doing X.

More than 24 hours would not be okay with me.

Ultimately though - if you like each other enough to be intimate (albeit without sex) then you should feel comfortable in asking simple questions about whether they’d like to see you again.

So my advice would be to put your big girl pants on and say something like “I really enjoyed our time together on X night, do you fancy <a drink / dinner / whatever> over the weekend?”

Better to woman up and know the answer than sit at home anxiously guessing. And if he’s in to you that approach won’t ever scare him away. If he is scared away by it, then you don’t waste any more time and he would have left eventually anyway just with a lot more anxiety and potentially hurt. Better to know now.