So last night my daughter (14) was talking about registering for a website. I looked at the website and didn’t feel comfortable registering as it was asking for an address. She didn’t understand why we couldn’t register as it was a well known famous persons website. I explained that it could have been hacked even though it was a very famous persons official page.
My husband was in another room and shouted that we should be careful in case of scammers.
My daughter then went in to speak to him and ask for clarity as she didn’t understand what we meant by scammers.
The conversation between them was short and to the point. My daughter did keep asking the same question. My husband got frustrated and they ended up shouting at each other. Both talking to each other in an unkind tone. Husband took her phone from her and told her to sit in the other room. Then went in and asked her about homework. She has some outstanding that needed to be done last night. So then he started having a go at her for not going it at the weekend. Cue more shouting between them both. Her ending up in tears.
He then went out for a run, but before he did he came upstairs where I was in the bathroom. I told him I was keeping out of this because I didn’t want our daughter to feel ganged up on. He made it clear that he expected me to have a word with her whilst he was out running, which I did so. I said that neither of them spoke to each other kindly and that I felt they were both in the wrong.
When he came back he didn’t speak to her. Had dinner. She was sat in the kitchen doing her homework. Nothing was said. Then she went up stairs to get ready for bed. I told him I think it was bonkers that they wasn’t saying anything to each other and that as the adult he needed to be the bigger person and lead by example.
He then started saying that he was annoyed because she hadn’t done her homework and that her room had been a mess and he had to keep going on at her to tidy it for weeks! I explained that not everyone does things the same way. Maybe she should be left to her own devices to do her homework. Rather than him forcing her to do it. Let her get a detention if needs be and maybe that will encourage her to be more on the ball with it. I should add that she goes to a private school and he gets upset that we are paying “all this money” and she “doesn’t appreciate it” - his words.
He then started saying he is the only efficient one in the house. (Hot water / electric) etc - again I said not everyone is like him we all do things differently. He then inferred I was wasting money (I’m on mounjaro but still drinking alcohol). Not a lot! Moderately. So I questioned that he thinks I shouldn’t drink at all. Which he didn’t reply.
A bit of background I work part time AND run a business from home so do bring money into the house. He earns an extortionate amount of money but doesn’t like to see waste (water / electric etc) and I just saw red at this point and said we are all different and he cannot expect everyone to think the same way he does.
We don’t have a loving relationship but most of the time is works but every now and again this sort of thing happens and creates bad feeling. He went to bed not talking to me or our daughter. (Our other older daughter was ok). I slept with my younger daughter and she went to bed really worried that she’d made him sad. But quite frankly I am getting more and more angry at his behaviour.
This morning he didn’t put the bins out (he normally does) so he is just trying to prove a point and be difficult. He told my older daughter that I blame him for last nights argument between him and our youngest which I never did. So I sent him a message and told him again that he needs to be the adult and he phoned our daughter to say that he didn’t want her going to school with them not talking but he still thought he was in the right and they needed to have a constructive conversation later.
But now he is not talking to be and generally being arsey.
I really am at the end of my tether.