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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner loves to be at home , cant see a happy future when we are so different

28 replies

Boredandlonely9182 · 12/01/2026 13:52

Ive been with my partner for a long time. We were only teenagers when we got together , we went out alot. Then we had kids in our 20s and again went out alot on days out for them. Although even then looking back he didn't go out for any other reason.
As the years have gone on and the kids habe become more independent, he has decided that he just wants to stay home all the time.
That's fine, some people like that. But he doesn't go out to work either as since covid he was able to work from home.
So the past 5 years majority of the time he has stayed at home .
I have spent many years taking the kids out by myself. I am the one that takes them and fetches them to and from everywhere now they are teenagers. I take them both to and from school. I do the shopping.

Not always but I will sometimes even go and see his family without him whilst he stays at home. And he never sees my family.
He is not depressed, he is very very happy to be at home . He says he sees no reason to go out unless its for something important such as an appointment or diy shop .
It has always bothered me but I just kind of accepted it and got on with my life separate to him . I often think alot of people will think im a single parent as he never comes anywhere with us.
The kids are not far away from leaving home and it has started to worry me alot more about what our future looks like? I cannot see a shared retirement like this. I want to go out to places together etc in my heart but even if we rarely do he makes it clear hes only doing it for me and doesnt want to be there.
I am by no means an extrovert and like being at home myself, but he is extreme with it. I find it very sad and concerning that a man only in his 40s has no life whatsoever by choice. I feel very lonely in my marriage because of it.

OP posts:
TomeletteswithGreggs · 13/01/2026 09:42

What a dull stick. I would be bored to death and leave.

TomeletteswithGreggs · 13/01/2026 09:44

Also a crap dad.

SmittenApple · 13/01/2026 09:45

When you say he is responsible for all decisions* *and discipline in the house, what does this actually look like in reality?

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