Hi guys. So im in the middle of divorce proceedings which I had file because ny hsubajd of one year wanted a divorce but has mental heath issues with depression and a controlling mother and financial anxiety so wouldnt file the papers himself.
He has for the last 9 months been intermittently coming back to the marital home to try and make things work but goes back to his mums after a few days even when we say we are giving things a go for another month. My solicitor sent some letters and whilst he told me he had a solicitor in the summer this proved to be false and at the last minute he says he doesnt want a divorce despite me spending tbousands to get things sorted.
In hisnmind he wants to sell the marital home at a massive loss bevause the house got downvakued and then rent because he feels thst with his mental health he cant handle a mortgage and cant handle living somewhere that is 1.5 hours from his work. He proposed to me yesterday that either we continue with the divorce and be friends aftereards or we sell the house at a loss then rent somewhere else and his reasoning for wanting to rent rsther than live in the marital home is because he doesnt know if we will still be together in 1 3 5 or 10 years time and woukd rather lose 2 months rent in the situation where we split rather than lose another 50k on a house. If we keep the marital hoke he onky wants to do so if i sign a post nup to say ill walk away with the share i put in.
He is unrepresented, having a lot of kental health issues after the split and hasnt answered the solicitors letters, tells me he really doesnt wsnt to lose me and the reason he hasnt go t a solicitor is because he still deep down loves me and wants to be with me. But wont live in the marital home with me because of his worries over financial anxiety with the mortgage (he grew up in poverty) and the location of the house. We are tied to this area because of my work for 2 years more after which i offered to move but he is still unsure and reluctant because he feels the safety in the marriage has gone.
Every time i try to move forward and get strong I get left with a huge void and indescribable grief. My life is worse off without him and I miss him dearly. Apart from the trouble with his mental health there is a lot of good about him but I really struggle with his inconsistency which makes me feel less secure and more anxious in the relationship. I need stable security but cant get over the grief of this man who is my fsmoky and i feel at 35 ill never meet anyone again that ticks the initial boxes the way he did or match me in the way that he did. Can anyone please give any advice as to whether from the outside in it is worth giving it a final go befote the divorce court orders or calling it a day?