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Original poster

AIBU or not??

8 replies

TheWaryDreamer · 09/01/2026 10:20

If your partner finished worked (in a pub) and then sat drinking with his mates for the next 2 hours and came home and told you it had been a busy night with lots of tables and you found out he was lying and drinking would you be annoyed?

OP posts:
Snowingtoday · 09/01/2026 10:38

So you now know your partner is a liar.
Which means you can no longer trust him.
Imo at least a relationship that isn't based on honesty, openness and trust is never going to be a happy one.

ArtfulTaupeGoose · 09/01/2026 10:38

I would wonder why he didn't tell me and if he was concerned about my reaction.
Not annoyed though.

BillieWiper · 09/01/2026 10:44

Would I be annoyed if my partner said he was working late when really he was drinking? I would be annoyed he felt the need to lie. As in I wouldn't care if he was drinking so there would be no need to.

I used to go to the pub after work and not necessarily mention it. I wouldn't really call it awful if it isn't encroaching on plans that have been made in advance. But it is in this case. If it wasn't a problem with fidelity or spending too much, or alcolholism I would be less bothered. But still annoyed a bit.

SwanRivers · 09/01/2026 11:02

I'd wonder why he chose to lie.

Is he a liar in general?

Would telling you he was staying behind for a drink have caused an argument?

Do you both have kids at home and you end up picking up more childcare while he stops behind for a drink?

How often does he do it?

rainbowstardrops · 09/01/2026 11:15

Yes, I’d be annoyed. Especially if there are children at home that I was expected to look after myself. (I don’t know if that’s your situation).
I don’t think I’d mind if he had one quick drink with his mates but I’d be hurt that he doesn’t want to come home to me.

Lmnop22 · 09/01/2026 13:12

It depends on so many factors - did he miss plans with you, did he leave you with the kids, does he have a drink problem?

To be completely honest, it sounds like he knew if he told you he was staying after work, you would have asked him not to or caused an argument about it or been jealous so he felt he had to lie to avoid an argument. Are you quite a needy person?

Original poster
TheWaryDreamer · 09/01/2026 13:37

Lmnop22 · 09/01/2026 13:12

It depends on so many factors - did he miss plans with you, did he leave you with the kids, does he have a drink problem?

To be completely honest, it sounds like he knew if he told you he was staying after work, you would have asked him not to or caused an argument about it or been jealous so he felt he had to lie to avoid an argument. Are you quite a needy person?

it’s not a rare occurrence for him to stay and having drinks after work and I don’t have an issue with it, I just think it’s very strange and has annoyed me that he’s lied to me. He came home and told me it was very busy and on the way home road was closed so took him longer we have life 360 so I know that it’s not true.. just seems odd

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 09/01/2026 13:46

TheWaryDreamer · 09/01/2026 13:37

it’s not a rare occurrence for him to stay and having drinks after work and I don’t have an issue with it, I just think it’s very strange and has annoyed me that he’s lied to me. He came home and told me it was very busy and on the way home road was closed so took him longer we have life 360 so I know that it’s not true.. just seems odd

Show quote history

If it happens regularly and he tells you and you’re fine with it and there’s no argument, then I would be suspicious as to why he felt the need to lie this time and who he was actually meeting for a drink. Are you sure it’s just his friends?

The Life360 thing does still give me a uncertain feeling about simply accepting you would’ve been absolutely fine about him staying out after his shift though - checking up on you partner’s every move just isn’t for me!

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